Failin' at bein' a Father Figure

Maybe it'd be best for you t' try an' explain the situation 'fore she comes out? Y' know, have a talk with the hubby an' such 'fore he meets her, so's he knows the situation and what's goin' on 'fore she comes out and meets 'im.

Then maybe can y'all have a talk with her and try tellin' her that this man/the hubby won't be lookin' for pleasure from her and that she doesn't have to, nor should she, try to pleasure him? Or somethin' like that?

Try to have as much understandin' as possible 'fore she comes out. Have the hubby understand her situation, and have her understand that she doesn't have to (and isn't t' try to) pleasure him.

Sorry if I'm not much help. We don' have a little like this in our system. (We have Cassidy, who I have to look after, but she ain't sexual. Destructive, usually seen as disturbing, and possibly havin' Antisocial Personality Disorder, but nothin' sexual).


~Marie

Yes, we do.

**major trigger warning**
Several of our littles have been very sexualized but Anastasia was by far the one it was hardest to learn not to try to solicit herself to others, as that was the only thing she was used to having happen to her (she didn't understand why nothing was happening now so she assumed they just preferred her to act willing). She's come a very long way though and will rarely now offer herself up to my SO or others. It takes patience and love, and showing them what that kind of love really is - that it is asexual and based on nothing but liking each other, caring about each other and wanting to be good to each other. We used to have a mentor, and if Ana offered herself to her (usually by a particular movement that the father taught us), she would always just sit right next to her and say "let's play instead, that's the kinds of things we do now, we don't do things like that to children." and would ask her how she would like to play and gave her a few options, like "maybe you want to draw or play with your teddy, or we can just sit and talk or cuddle safely like we do sometimes where we just sit next to each other. You can choose from any of these things and nothing bad is going to happen". It took a long time and Ana would usually very blatantly try to give herself away (put her hand on her thigh, did the specific movement mentioned above, told her she was available for anything etc). After a while though it helped immensely. And the more people around us that knew and could respond similarly, she saw that not everyone was expecting that of her. It was disturbing and brought me as a host to tears many times - but now she's a whole different person. She was the most traumatized, sad, scared alter I knew of back then and now she's a happy, bubbly child who sure, has her moments of sadness and panic and all of that, but generally she's pretty well-adjusted and happy.

Anastasia says you can feel free to pose any question to her about this as well, if you feel it would help.

Best of luck.