being grounded in the present

I just wanted to share this cause it felt so good for the short time it lasted. If you are like us, therapy can often include disconnects with alters, environment, your T, and so things do not stay constant . Afterwards it takes a while to get orientated to the outerworld again...even to our innerworld. I ramble...anyways , my point, I have been with current T and In his office for 9 months. Been in therapy 12 years. Th e other day, all of a sudden I could hear his clock tic toc very clearly for the first time....I wasnt aware of this clock cause its on a wall that i haven't ever seen , as it is around a corner. Same day, I coul d smell coffee very clearly. I dont pay much attention to what he drinks, but he always has a cup or two of coffee going during sessions. It was right after a round of EMDR. First he asked if these were from flashbacks. No they were not. T said you are gounded to the present that is very good. Well, I havent had a clarity experience like that since then. My T and the room still morphs around changing shape, size brightnes, darkenss etc.. No more senses being so grounded. We usually ground me with a specific tactile awareness of specific (hosts) items. Anyway, it is back to less clarity. So much is foggy , dark and jsu t plain out of my memory afterwards. T tells me what happend, I can remember a bit of that. I know all my Therapists have worked to keep me grounded , but that was great. I remember years ago when a session was in color. I saw the world in colorr for the first time of my recollection. IT didnt last long. I see many things in color now..just not as vibrant. This is a boring post, but it was neat to expereince that quiet in my head ,ye t not an empty shell.

This is an interesting post! I had so much trouble realizing what grounded was - since like you it was not something that happened often.

I kept resisting being grounded too. I liked not being here.

BUT... then my T says I must get this concept if I am going to begin trauma processing - so he can bring me back to the present.

You are already doing trauma processing and EMDR. What is your experience of coming back from that?

So our EMDR is done with any parts that need/want/are ready. This may or may not include me ,the host. I attempt to watch. Whomever he is with,My T does little groundings between rounds of bilateral stimulation. After the deep breath and asessing any feelings from the said round, He checks if I/they feel safe...so not really grounding yet. T does say "it s over now, you are safe "during the stimulation & says other positive stuff a little bit. At the end with an EMDR session with me, the host, He has me touch & look at my grounding articles. I feel like I am in my body , more larity,and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I feel free and pain /stresss free. He askes me where I am and my name & age. I feel present and talkative. IF Alters were doing EMDR, I try to watch, but it is pretty spotty to remember & see what goes on. After an EMDR session he talks to them to check if they feel safe.Checks for any negative remaining body sensation.He checks If the event just dealt with this time is now foggy and/or farther away unable to hurt them. IF not then more bilateral stimulation. Then he tells them he is going to talk to me, the host, because I get frustrated when I dont know what has happened and I need to be able to drive and stuff. So he calls me to touch and look at my items .Again, when I ake control, I feel present & lighter weight and free from stress and anxiety. Sometimes after this part,an alter will appear and interrupt and put her two cents in about whatever she wants. My T then calls me back and i re gound and feel like I am in control. The alters may take control again later as usual . They may jsut pop up while I am driving or take over control or make some commotion inside again after a while. Also the free feeling lasts about two days for me, but gets weighty with new stressors during that time.I also have some residual effects such as crying after I leave..A good kinda cry, a relief. 3rd day new issues surface. These are not necessarily anything He will use EMDR with, and usually it is not.
so after my grounding activity from EMDR i always feel great and ver y much in control and in the here and now and clearer.I dont feel liek I might be a singleton or anything like that.
That is a lot of explanation. Hope it helps you . I am sure everyone responds differrntly to EMDR/rounding. Maybe some will respond to this post as well.