therapy

I was been diagnosed with DID many years ago. I didn't start therapy until much later although my psychiatrist wanted to put me in therapy many times. When I did start therapy it was about 2 years before a kid answered the phone and it was my therapist

Still in therapy, I find it very hard to have to listen to her tell me what the others have done or seen. I always tell her I don't want to hear it. I am many years into therapy and I am still embarrasd about others coming out for their therapy even though my therapist is excellent and very gentle with telling me the things said.

Sometimes when I hear what other have said I go into a huge fury which of course causes another to come out. There is 2 specific Selves that are destructive, but again they have their reason for doing what they feel they need to do.

Has anyone had Alters who are into making money illegally (ie prostitution)? My therapist and I have ben working on a teen that feels it is a way to keep us financially secure. Recently it was done again! I wanted to scream forever. I am in a excellent reationship but if that relationship would crumble fast if this came to surface.

Sometimes everything is so depressing that I really start thinking wrong. Or I just want to sit and stare for hours. This therapy thing is so slow. All I want is co-operation with us. It seem the others are fighting me all the way. I feel so crazy having to live a wonderful home life yet having to hide this other life that I am living.

Any encouraging words woulld be appreciated!

Dear Chaos,

I have been dealing with DID for many many years. I have been through a lot of therapy for this disorder. I have had alters come out and do almost unthinkable things...which horrified me and I ultimately almost lost my life on 2 occasions.

If you have a good therapist I would reccomend for you to stay with her. Sometimes it's very embarassing to hear of what an alter did....I know only because I have been there. In fact I used to fight to keep certain alters from coming out. Believe me I took no joy in acting like a 9 month old baby and crawling around a room sucking my thumb!

I am happy to say that after a good many years I am integrated, for the most part. There are still a few alters now, but things are so manageable that I am barely even aware of it.

So all of that to say this: things will get better!!! Your alters won't always be doing the things they are now. There must be reasons why they do what they do. I just want to assure that if you work hard you can get things sorted out...and you life can change drastically for the good.

Take Care,
Sweetngentle aka Kathy