Memories & unconsciousness?

**trigger warning for abuse, drugs etc**
This probably has a straight-forward answer, but I'm wondering..
If your body is unconscious for trauma (due to being drugged or other things like that), which alter holds that trauma? No one? Will you ever know what happened or will it all be gone? Will the memories never come back?

I'm wondering cause we've been drugged a lot as kids and teens. A lot of it was rohypnol and ghb and stuff and we hold the memories from the doses that were only paralyzing but not making us unconscious. But I don't know what happens to the memories that are/aren't stored when you're unconscious. Your body is there right, doesn't the brain retain anything that happens to it? Or will that trauma just be gone? What's everyone else's experience with this?

I dunno.. Thanks for any answers. Hope this wasn't too stupid a question.

- Emma

I'm wondering cause we've been drugged a lot as kids and teens.

Oh my god that sounds horrible!

What's everyone else's experience with this?

I have (gladly) no experience but some knowledge.

But I don't know what happens to the memories that are/aren't stored when you're unconscious. Your body is there right, doesn't the brain retain anything that happens to it? Or will that trauma just be gone?

I think that if you are truly unconscious your brain/body can't store any memories at all so in that sense there is no trauma. It's sort of a full dissociation for everyone in the system.

However someone has been drugged and someone has woke up from being drugged. Someone also must have been dealing with pain and other after effects knowing/guessing what has happened so trauma is just as severe as without drugs.

And no it was not a stupid question.

Oh my god that sounds horrible!

Thank you, **trigger warning** it definitely was quite traumatic having it happen over and over again. You never know when it's gonna happen so it creates quite the atmosphere, I must say. **trigger warning end**

I have (gladly) no experience but some knowledge.

Thanks, I can appreciate both!

However someone has been drugged and someone has woke up from being drugged. Someone also must have been dealing with pain and other after effects knowing/guessing what has happened so trauma is just as severe as without drugs.

And no it was not a stupid question.

Yeah, that side of it we are already dealing with.. Thanks for the acknowledgement that not remembering the trauma itself doesn't make it not as severe. **Trigger warning** When you're doing bad enough things you have the need to drug someone first it's not like what you're left with is nothing either **trigger warning end**. We're working on it though and most of the after effects (PTSD) have been started taking care of thankfully

Thanks for the knowledge. It helps!

*trigger warning*
I am so sorry this happened to ya all. I am not a doc or authority on this but like in our experience it depends on how drugs influence sh*t in your system, the dosage, the awareness of insiders, etc. Like the Ells were given acid and ketamine and robotussin when the body was little, and they remember crazy crazy $#%^ (demons! blood! minotaur! hands! zeus! spiders! death! fire! maggots! knife!) um, yeh... Anyway they remember that sh*t, but their archangel remembers the same events without the drugs effects, which was still horrid but less supernaturally terrifying and waaaay more manipulative of the abusers. Some events are recorded as like audio memory inside (when someone inside who was back-seated overheard what happened when the body was unconscious), or other memories its somatic (like they remember the physical sensations on the body but have no clear sight or sound) or its just raw emotional memory. So the event might be lurking there in somebodys memory in one form or another. We have a teen inside Krissy who is blind, and she records sensations and sounds when the body was in an immobile or unconscious-drugged state. It's like when the front people are shut down, she gets activated. She's kinda not a person and kinda more a program, but she's shared intell on sh*t we were blacked-out for. But it might not be recalled, like when Gemini got drugged-so-was-it-rape-or-not after a night drinking, and nobody inside knows exactly what happened about that one, at least that we are aware of. I am so f*cking sorry you had to experience this. With or without recall it's a f*cking terror to live with the knowledge that something happened and I think sometimes it's even worse to NOT know even tho knowing is really painful and sh*t.

Thanks Cleo. It helped a lot to read what you wrote. Thank you for sharing so personal experiences. It does hurt not knowing what happened, at least since it's relatively frequently. I'm so sorry you all went through that I really am.. Again, thanks for sharing how it's worked for you all.

Wishing you the best

We are still working through some of these non-memories so we would really appreciate input if anyone has anything

A very interesting question. I so wish I had an answer for you. I'm sorry I don't. But I can't read this and turn away without saying that I'm sorry too that you went through that, and are struggling so much with recall at the moment. I can (sort of) understand the frustration, the wanting to know what happened to you, because I feel that way with the ten years of my life I'm amnesic to. It is horrible knowing that your body was put through things that you don't remember. Makes you feel very vulnerable. But I hope you can keep in mind as you go through all of this that you are safe now and you are a wonderful person

Good to see you Bourbon

Thank you. I really appreciate your comment.
I wish we were safe now. At least we are safer

I really appreciate your comment. Support always helps and it was nice of you to say such a nice thing about us

Hey sweetie,

the body holds memories, every cell has a memory that passes it s knowledge to the next cell.

so even when drugged, your concious mind may not hold memories, but the body does.

to get in touch with such memories, you can use techniques- but you do need someone to help you with this, it ll be probably intense. I can t really say what would work directly, as I don t know what the biggest problem right now is.

Is it the not knowing, the feeling something is off and lingering and not finding it?

is it flashbacks of vague things you can t name or 'get'?

are you overwhelmed by sensations you cannot explain like a full relivin event (when you get to relive it and see things, feel things and know what s happening)?

it may be also that for now, the body / mind isn t ready for the full set of memories.

but yes, they are there, and the fact that you are sensing them means you re up for gettin through to them one way or another.

I m sorry for what you went through hunni. Bein TRIGGER WARNING drugged and then treated in such bad cruel way END TRIGGER WARNING is just ....... (I can t even find a word)

I m sendin you a safe hug if wanted, somethin nice to drink and relax by and a silver bag of piece of mind you can use when it all gets too much

nina11

Hi,

Firstly sorry to hear about those truely horrible experiences

The only parallel I can draw is dealing with memories of abuse from an extremely young age.

These memories are from an age where my mind was not formed enough to store "complete" memories; in development somatic memories come before the visual (apparently); in my case I experience somatic memories of abuse of the body.

I won't ever know exactly what happened with these memories.

But trying to deal with these memories and trying to make exact sense of them.. I think that's a red herring - it's trying to rationalise something. In my case I think the key is acceptance and understanding its safe now. Hopefully they will lose intensity as they loop around less / become less threatening if I achieve this (so far though I derealise things alot and deny them so easier said then done).

I hope you're ok and that this offers something relevant