When you dont laugh anymore...

It would appear that I don't genuinely laugh much anymore. Every year I get older; I laugh less- and grow more serious. I really envy, but also admire people who can just live their lives and laugh. They laugh to feel happy! But what do you do when you CANT laugh?

There are lots of things I find funny! but... how do I explain... the more life I experience, the more difficult it is let loose and LAUGH OUT LOUD. I'll laugh a little in my head, or a short grunt of some sort will come out. when your in a social setting, it sounds weird. So, when I'm surrounded by people and we're watching a comedy or talking about something funny; I have no choice but to FORCE laughter. sometimes I feel it's at least partly genuine. but You know when you're laughing continuously? like there's no "cue" to STOP laughing... for example, I said to someone something funny yesterday. We both started chuckling, she hit my arm like people do when they're laughing with you..she was laughing pretty hard. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I get self conscious about what my laugh sounds like and what I look like when i laugh...I also don't find the situation funny at all anymore. (I'll do that- just, It's not funny anymore. It's "serious time") I don't WANT to get "serious"; It just happens. So i ABRUPTLY stop laughing, followed by an intense frown. The other person soon takes note, makes a weird face (as if their thinking- umm... Is he okay? Did I do something?)...

There are times where a situation that calls for humour and laughter brings about no emotion in me. I just feel dead inside. I may not even be acutely depressed at the time. I just don't laugh out loud. I'll try to though as I'm aware I'm expected to. The laughter that comes out will sound awkward and forced. I've been told this by people; so more and more lately I just isolate myself as I'm growing more and more self conscious. I hate the sound of my laugh; I sound like an idiot. But If I don't laugh I appear as emotionless. so...

I'm at a loss here guys. I don't know what to do.

It sounds like you're deflecting your gaze onto laughter instead of dealing with the actual issue. Why are you so concerned with how you sound or look? What is occurring during those moments that needs to be taken so seriously? I am the same in all honestly but I haven't dealt with my hang ups entirely yet.

I'm so concerned with what I sound like and look like because people have told me i look and sound weird. It started one day when i was hanging out with my friend Cody several months back... she said to me: "you look really uncomfortable when you talk to me." (i was very anxious that day). there was also another time when she (cody) said "are you alright? why do you sound so sad?' I FELT COMPLETELY NORMAL at that time..and to her, i sound depressed. Also, I was hanging out with my brother and his friend one day a few weeks back and they laughed amongst theirselves everytime I laughed out loud. my brother [Josh] later told me that his friend (david) makes fun of the way I laugh [especially when Im working at sobeys... he and my bro also work at the same store I do]...and just a few days ago my friend Kat immitated my laugh and somewhat sarcastically remarked: 'I like your laugh.'...and theres more instances that have happened...
...the thing is, I know quite a few people DO like me... i feel as if, however, that my insecurities and awkwarness will always prevent me from pursuing more meaningful relationships... ie, the way Iaugh..how I care too much about what others think. I have ADHD and speech problems too... and i norice im growing less and less interested in being social because i cant take the anxiety and embarassment anymore... i am a strong determined person that is giving up more and more.....

BonjourJakk wrote:...the thing is, I know quite a few people DO like me... i feel as if, however, that my insecurities and awkwarness will always prevent me from pursuing more meaningful relationships..

Are you going to let that happen? Remember you are presented with a choice here. You will have to take responsibility for how you deal with the situation and your feelings.

BonjourJakk wrote: and i norice im growing less and less interested in being social because i cant take the anxiety and embarassment anymore... i am a strong determined person that is giving up more and more.....

You don't need to be embarrassed. You've been conditioned to feel that way but you can reverse it. Also in all relationships there are bound to be embarrassing moments and anxiety. There are also worse things that you will end up facing if you haven't already. But it doesn't mean that the relationships are less meaningful. It's part of what makes them real. You already know that your friends see past your laugh and like you. What more does one need?

This is my opinion. You don't have to agree with me. If I had a quick fix I would give it to you without hesitation, but unfortunately I don't.

I don't quite have the same problem, but I don't really laugh much any more. On good days I might half chuckle at something that others are busting guts laughing at. However, when I do laugh, it can nearly bring me to tears its so good. Not that I am laughing so long and hard that I start tearing up. I'm talking about the flood of emotions that my depression has walled off hits me like a hundred tons of brick. It's such a hit that I can't help but tear up. Does anyone else have this happen to them?

ParchedBones wrote:I don't quite have the same problem, but I don't really laugh much any more. On good days I might half chuckle at something that others are busting guts laughing at. However, when I do laugh, it can nearly bring me to tears its so good. Not that I am laughing so long and hard that I start tearing up. I'm talking about the flood of emotions that my depression has walled off hits me like a hundred tons of brick. It's such a hit that I can't help but tear up. Does anyone else have this happen to them?

i would fake laughter with friends whenever someone cracked a sex joke. i never found them funny enough to laugh loudly but i laughed just cause i didnt want to feel left out.

now i realize that was a big mistake. never fake laughter. u'll end up wasting unnecessary mental energy. if you dont feel comfortable around ur friends, maybe they're not ur friends. u dont need tons of friends. just a few friends. even one is sufficient at times.

i used to feel guilty for not having friends. if my friends made fun of me i'd get angry n then feel guilty for being angry. but then a friend said, 'they're picking on you.'

if ur not comfortable in a situation, you can n should avoid it instead of suffering through it. if they're ur true friends, they'll understand.

i also dont laugh much now.