Dont feel any emotions

Hello,

I am not sure if this post belongs in this section but I didnt know which other forum to post it in.
I dont know if this even classifies as depression and I am sorry for that.

So after a very troubling end to a 'relationship' (it is in quotes because I dont know if i can even classify that as a relationship) I have stopped feeling any emotions. It was a troubling end because there was a very wierd form of sexual abuse involved. I dont want to get into details (its a long story) but the gist of it is that a situation was created in which there was some sexual forcing but it was mainly because of a misunderstanding.. The guy IS to blame for it but I do know that, had he not misunderstood the situation he would not have reacted that way. So all in all i went through something quite troubling and I have no one to blame for it.

But the thing is now that i dont even feel bad anymore. Not for myself, not for anyone. I just dont feel any emotion anymore. I dont feel happiness (for myself, or anyone else; normally i used to feel genuine happiness for others) or sadness or excitement or jealousy (normally i was quite quick to bouts of jealousy) or even depression. I sometimes get angry at small situations but even get over that quickly.

I just dont feel ANYTHING. i just want to spend entire days sitting at home watching mindless telecoms and doing nothing, feeling nothing. I used to go out a lot but now i just dont feel like it.

This feeling (of complete lack of it) started after that incident but I genuinely dont know if i was THAT affected by the incident to feel like this..

My flatmate and one of my best friends is going through a very good time and I want to feel happy for her.. i am putting up a show but i genuinely want to feel happy for her!

Any suggestions as to how I can feel again?? i really want to..

thanks

Heya,

I actually do believe that what we have here is depression. One might think of a depressed person as he/she who feels miserable and suicidal all day long, but that's not the case at all. Depression is about your morale and emotions being 'depressed'. The most common symptoms include lack of appetite, not enjoying things that you used to, and struggling to feel motivated (amongst others). However, you have not mentioned timescale in your post... if this has been going on for a very long time, then it could be bordering into dysthymia.

Anyway, it might just take time to get through this, but you should always have the inner intention of trying to get back to where you were. Do'nt just wait for it to come back ... it will involve a little effort to get things back the way that they were. Old habits will have to change, for example. Whatever you want to call it, you did have a relationship with that guy, but maybe not the most typical of romantic relationships. Nevertheless, he was in your life and you had built up some customs/habits that included him too. These have to be left in the past ... whilst at the same time new habits must be acquired. Get to know yourself better, but also get to know those around you better. Engage new relationships with people and learn more about life and what you want from it. For all intents and purposes, try to regain a sense of direction.

Take care and good luck
Kevin

Needsanswers,

You say that "had he not misunderstood the situation he would not have reacted that way". Did you try and better explain the situation that he misunderstood? If you did, you make no mention of this action by you in your post, and I would think this would be the correct action to take in a situation like that, especially one which resulted in a "troubling end" to a "relationship". 

A misunderstanding takes two people, and, can easily be resolved by the person who is being misunderstood. He/she just needs to explain that they are being misunderstood, and said misunderstanding is now resolved.

Do you think that maybe you are too passive and non-communicative and this leads to misunderstandings with others?
I myself have learned over the years that being communicative and pro-active is ALWAYS better than being silent and passive.

Since you are vague on your term of "sexual forcing", it is hard to determine if you mean "rape" or not. I know you don't want to give details, but if it was rape or you were otherwise physically forced into sexual acts against your will?, then I wonder why you aren't thankful that the "relationship" is over? The fact that you are somewhat depressed about it ending suggests that maybe you didn't want it to end....? Only you know the answer to that question. 

My suggestion to you is that if it was "rape", that you should try and see only the positives of it being over, but if it really wasn't "rape", and your term translates into him just wanting to incorporate a sexual component into your "relationship"(friends with benefits), then maybe you owe the guy a detailed explanation of what you REALLY want out of the "relationship", and if he really likes you as a person, and not just an object, then you should at the very least have a friend in him. 

One more suggestion that I have for you, since you "don't feel ANYTHING", is to just try and sit with your feelings regarding the end of this "relationship". Feeling nothing is the absence of emotions, try a relaxation exercise while lying down, and don't allow yourself to block any feelings, just allow yourself to really feel them. Is there sadness or anger or frustration, or ??? Your emotions are there to help guide you to what you need to do or where you need to go, and if you can't feel them, then you need to actively try and get reconnected with them. 

My guess is that you are not emotionally dealing with the end of this relationship, and this is why you can't feel genuinely happy for your friend, unresolved issues have a way of blocking us from feeling our current emotions. When you stop feeling, then depression can set in.

If you need anymore advise on how to do this, or for any further explanation, you can pm(private message) me and I can give you some more detailed descriptions on how this can be accomplished.