Needing control as a symptom of CD?

I feel like its very hard for me to let go of control, and relax. It has thus far ruined many an occasion where I was otherwise happy, but yet feel like without an explicit purpose for anything I'm lost. I dont believe I have anhedonia, because I still enjoy humor, nature, discussions, etc; I just don't understand why it is so hard to let my guard down. Is this another issue, or is it related to CD? Either way, any suggestions?

Needing control? What do you not have control of that you feel that you need control?

As in, it feels like when I'm stressed, I like to micromanage and obsess over the little details that don't matter. Therefore, it makes enjoying something as you're doing it fairly difficult. Is this normal?

What you are describing is behaviour and not a symptom of a mental illness.

Whether it is "normal" behaviour or not is hard to say. There are lots of things that people take special care over in order to get it right. Some people pay extraordinary attention to detail, but it is not often a negative and usually appreciated by people. Often people who do not take special care to get things right mess things up for the rest of us.

Needing control isn't a problem per se, but rather not being able to function (well) when you don't have control. I wouldn't take it symptom by symptom, but rather a set of symptoms. If you really think you're depressed, I would talk to your doctor.

I can completely relate to the need for control. Mine manifests in many ways that have a positive or negative effect, it can make me more productive at work or miserable when interacting with others. When I feel like I don't have control over things and become overwhelmed, it helps to stop and put things on paper (I usually bullet point stuff on post its and stick to my planner) and it makes me feel better. I read about OCPD online and it gave me a sense of understanding about why I act the way I do (always looking for perfection and getting frustrated as a result).

It's also helped me to identify what's acceptable to obsess over and whats not. Sometimes it can be difficult to take a moment to assess my behavior but doing this with frequency (I get frustrated a lot every day over lack of control) builds up awareness. This awareness is a reminder that I need to relax and take a deep breath (I honestly hate when people say that but it does help). That awareness also puts things into perspective depending on the scenario.

If you don't mind the question what occasions has it ruined?