hi guys

hey there guys Im new to this forums .. am only wondering what my problem is though Ive suffered from clinical depression and its been a hell of a ride since then I just posted (or tried to post) something on the social anxiety forum because after I got out from this I somehow developed some sort of social anxiety or phobia Im not sure what it is but it could be related to the fact I believe that everyone knows I was clinically depressed and I feel bad about it Im not sure what it is linked to exactly though because I do get to see other people and eventhough it takes me a while to get used to people I do after a lot of struggle yet Im never able to form any close relationships with anyone ... all of this might sound a bit gay n all but I think this is leading me to depression again I do not feel like going back at all... I am still going to school because I know quitting on this is not an option and that refusing to go to school or work or interacting with other people only makes it worse... can anyone here help me though? I do not know what to do about this... v.v

Know what you're good at, shalala, and what you are not so-good at. If you cannot be the great friendly person that you want to be, then stop killing yourself trying to be that person. You might become happier if you just focus on maintaing an 'acquaintance' type of friendship with people. On all other issues in your life too, this same priciple should apply. You know, I once wanted to be the type of person who went out every week to nightclubs and who wverybody knew and loved, but it was killing me trying to be that person. in reality, I struggle to maintain frienships in the long-term too, but I have accepted this now and - ironically - I am happier and have more closer friends than ever.

Know your limits, is essentially what i'm trying to say.

Take care,
Kevin

well you see thats the thing... I have had really good friends and close friends before but now Ive lost them so I guess thats part of the reason why I feel like I knowww I can be a good friend and form deep bondings with people it just takes me a while and now I have changed due to depression I wasn't like this before at all I didnt have social anxiety or phobias ... damn I wasnt scared of dogs... (not that it has much to do with it but I developed this fear while being depressed and it hasnt gone away v.v) Ive been so depressed to the point of not being able to get out of bed for months... Im pretty sure not everyone has gone through clinical depression because some people do self injury but havent gotten to that point where they literally just lie in bed waiting to die I think what hurts me the most about bonding deeply with people is the fact that I know I have ups and downs and I dont want to form a good relationship with someone who will end up feeling sorry for me anymore or losing respect for me v.v which is already happening again like I said Ive gone through depression and out of it... for more than a year then going back to it n the going back is what bothers me the most ... so I guess what Im trying to say is... that I knowww my limits... and thats precisely why Im so concerned with this...

shalala wrote:Ive been so depressed to the point of not being able to get out of bed for months... Im pretty sure not everyone has gone through clinical depression because some people do self injury but havent gotten to that point where they literally just lie in bed waiting to die

This is a good point to note. Some never reach that clinical depression stage because they react to their low mood through actions like, for example, cutting, binge-eating, alcoholism, taking drugs, etc. I have to admit that I always try to avoid the depressive thoughts too, but at this stage have managed to do [mostly] productive actions in response to them

I think what hurts me the most about bonding deeply with people is the fact that I know I have ups and downs and I dont want to form a good relationship with someone who will end up feeling sorry for me anymore or losing respect for me v.v which is already happening again

Well, that's important to note too, but you cannot live in fear like this forever. Sooner or later you will have to get back into 'the game' (of life) and taking risks regarding friendships.

Kevin