Are my emotions normal?

I am 30 years old, never married. I have reached a state of mind where I just don't care anymore if I find someone or not.

I cry every time I get my period because I want a baby (but not as a single mother) and I am depressed at the thought of everyone around me coupling up and having families - but I still don't care about going out there and finding someone.

My history:
I had my first boyfriend at 16 - who was wrong for me in every way (but I thought we were in love).I broke up with him at age 22 and then went though a weird phase for 2 years of just having fun (i.e. casual sex). I then started to take myself seriously at the age of 25 and considered marriage. I started working on myself (i.e. focused on my career, how to be a good person). When I started to do this, the men around me fled in packs - which I thought was amusing at first. After about 3-4 years of almost zero dating, I decided to become pro-active. I went on the internet shortly after my 29th birthday to find someone and I did. He appeared perfect in every way, and told me I am the "one" etc. Then one day out of the blue he stopped calling - and after a week of silence I called him early one morning (I knew he'd be home) to hear him tell me groggily over the phone it's OVER. Then he hung up on me.
The day after my 30th birthday, I met a guy through a social event. I was very attracted to him and we had a lot of fun together but his mother was a total nutjob. She told me he didn't have enough money to spend on me and that if we get married she needs to live in the same house as us. After three months of dating I finally told her firmly to mind her business and then he stopped talking to me. After a week of silence I drove to his house to know where I stand and he said it's over.

I am still 30, turning 31 in a few months. I kind of reached a state of mind where I just don't care anymore. A month ago I met a guy off an internet dating site. I don't like him very much but I'm just plain lonely. He is 35 and is just not the one for me. He's very nice but he's kind of weird (he has OCD) and not as educated as I am. I don't even think he's husband or father material.

Any thoughts on all this?

Hi,

Thanks for posting. I think that our lives mirror each other somewhat, except that i'm 26 now and am only realising how little effort I've put into dating over the past few years. I've been single now for 5 years and the girls that have shown interest in me during tghose 5 years weren't allowed a chance (by me) to get to know me better. I focussed on my study and work mainly. So, now, Im beginning to think that I need to put more efforet into dating gain, which is what you did at around my age too. You are still young though, but no matter what age we are, there is always hope. Also, most people don't want to settle down until much later in life thes days. My brothers (3) will all be married by next April, and each are either just below or over 30 years of age.

Kevin