Will meds help me?

Ok so here it goes, If any of you guys could help me it be greatly appreciated ..... I just started seeing a therapist maybe about 2 weeks ago she said that i have depression but its basically because i just told her what she wanted to hear and the generic things. I do believe its my main problem but i'm not sure about other things. Alright well let me describe myself, I'm just a really negative person, my friends tell me that always also but it's true. I don't know if its the depression talking but i really have a hard time not acting on my negative thoughts.It's kinda like i know whats right but the demons just take over and i really cant act on what is right. This is very frustrating. Im currently a jr right now in high school and this semester my grades dropped dramatically where i ended up with a 1.3 gpa. Also i just hate the world so much and im really antisocial, to the point where i start shaking and breathing heavily when in im public or even around a big group of people. Also i just hate everything about myself... I cant find any positives about myself. Also i'm just constantly so angry and never can get happy or excited. I can't seem to open up to my therapist because i just feel it's useless... its 12 random free sessions and i just believe she doesnt care .. she's just there to be there. She's recommended medication but my parents are STRONGLY against it and they will try at all other costs to not get me on meds. I am just wondering do u think the meds will make me functional again? Thanks again guys i know it got long I'm sorry

Hi!

First, it seems like you suffer from depression and social anxiety. If you only hated the world, you wouldn't feel anxiety - it seems like you suffer from anxiety and "hate the world" because you're struggling so much.

The good news is, both are treatable.

Good news is, if you were severely depressed, you would likely not be able to feel anger. Anger is an emotion, just like happiness is. If you are able to feel anger, you are also able to feel happiness!

I think you should start by finding positive things about yourself. It may be hard - but that's your depression talking! Start with baby steps - you were able to do this and that. You were able to talk to a friend, buy things, etc. That way you can build your self-esteem which will lead to happiness.

Meds are usually helpful. It may be some trial and error, and they all need some time to take effect. But eventually, meds, especially in combination with therapy, can help lift even the worst depression. They work for social anxiety also, so the positive effect is double.

You will be OK Good luck!

austin25 wrote:Ok so here it goes, If any of you guys could help me it be greatly appreciated ..... I just started seeing a therapist maybe about 2 weeks ago she said that i have depression but its basically because i just told her what she wanted to hear and the generic things. I do believe its my main problem but i'm not sure about other things. Alright well let me describe myself, I'm just a really negative person, my friends tell me that always also but it's true. I don't know if its the depression talking but i really have a hard time not acting on my negative thoughts.It's kinda like i know whats right but the demons just take over and i really cant act on what is right. This is very frustrating. Im currently a jr right now in high school and this semester my grades dropped dramatically where i ended up with a 1.3 gpa. Also i just hate the world so much and im really antisocial, to the point where i start shaking and breathing heavily when in im public or even around a big group of people. Also i just hate everything about myself... I cant find any positives about myself. Also i'm just constantly so angry and never can get happy or excited. I can't seem to open up to my therapist because i just feel it's useless... its 12 random free sessions and i just believe she doesnt care .. she's just there to be there. She's recommended medication but my parents are STRONGLY against it and they will try at all other costs to not get me on meds. I am just wondering do u think the meds will make me functional again? Thanks again guys i know it got long I'm sorry

First off, if you're not going to be honest with your therapist, and if you consider therapy useless, then you won't get any help from your therapist. For psychotherapy to work, a patient has to be motivated to get better, and that starts with honest dialogue.

Your grades dropping to what is effectively failing, and the feelings you describe are worrying to me, especially if you're talking about demons taking over (because demons represent an external locus of control). I think you need real intervention at this time in your life, or things may go from bad to worse. I think you need to be honest with your therapist, and I think if you want to get better, you need to verbalize that you really want to get better.

The first thing, in my opinion, that you need to do is start finding the positives about yourself. Everyone has positives--even Hitler had positives. Everyone has positives, no matter how bad they are otherwise. Why not start now? Why not reply with a list of what you see as bad and at least one thing you see as good. I'm no therapist, but you have friends in this forum, and we're all ears.

Thanks afraidofdiseases and Edward G for your help. I really appreciate it. Your responses helped me get a better explanation of my problems.

This in response to Edward G:
Here's my 3 main bad things
1. I'm not intellectual at all... in simpler words I'm dumb.This is one of my main problems is finding something to live for when it seems like all I'm destined for is a low income walmart job. I've thought long and hard about things that i could do besides a no thought simple jobs such as bagging groceries. I really can't find anything I can do.
2. I have a mental disease. It's simple but i can't really accomplish anything with something so strong holding me back.
3. I am nothing special as a person. Everytime in school or just out in public ... It seems like I'm a nobody... I'm never noticed or anything I'm just an invisible person. Nobody ever wants to partner with me or talk to me willingly it's like if none of my couple friends are in a class with me.... Nobody wants to have nothing to do with me and I understand though because i really am a nobody i'm nothing but honestly it does hurt. It appears as people read my inner thoughts and know im a negative disgusting person and they know to have nothing to do with me.

One good:
1. The few who actually associate with me tend to say im nice... but my negative attitude kinda makes me not fun to be around.

I have one last question:
I really dont know how to bring myself to go back to school. I'm just so lost right now and i've done so bad in school recently i just can't bring myself to go back. Although i know i should finish h.s i just dont want to keep failing. If you have any ideas it would be of great help!

Thanks again guys,
Austin

austin25 wrote:Thanks afraidofdiseases and Edward G for your help. I really appreciate it. Your responses helped me get a better explanation of my problems.

This in response to Edward G:
Here's my 3 main bad things
1. I'm not intellectual at all... in simpler words I'm dumb.This is one of my main problems is finding something to live for when it seems like all I'm destined for is a low income walmart job. I've thought long and hard about things that i could do besides a no thought simple jobs such as bagging groceries. I really can't find anything I can do.
2. I have a mental disease. It's simple but i can't really accomplish anything with something so strong holding me back.
3. I am nothing special as a person. Everytime in school or just out in public ... It seems like I'm a nobody... I'm never noticed or anything I'm just an invisible person. Nobody ever wants to partner with me or talk to me willingly it's like if none of my couple friends are in a class with me.... Nobody wants to have nothing to do with me and I understand though because i really am a nobody i'm nothing but honestly it does hurt. It appears as people read my inner thoughts and know im a negative disgusting person and they know to have nothing to do with me.

One good:
1. The few who actually associate with me tend to say im nice... but my negative attitude kinda makes me not fun to be around.

I have one last question:
I really dont know how to bring myself to go back to school. I'm just so lost right now and i've done so bad in school recently i just can't bring myself to go back. Although i know i should finish h.s i just dont want to keep failing. If you have any ideas it would be of great help!

Thanks again guys,
Austin

Hey Austin, I have to say, your writing suggests to me that you are anything but dumb. You express yourself far too well for that to be true. You write better than most people with four-year degrees.

And why must you work at Walmart? You're a junior in high school. Couldn't you at least learn auto mechanics or HVAC or Criminal Justice at a junior college afterward? Or go into the military? Or become a journalist (You write well enough.). I'm just throwing those out as examples other than Walmart. Right now, sure, you can't do anything because you're a junior in HS, and you haven't learned a trade. You're not old enough for that yet.

And can you elaborate on "mental disease"? Because, yeah, depending on what that mental disease is, it really makes a difference regarding your options. And I wouldn't want to encourage you one way or the other if that way isn't a real possibility for you.

You do sound like a pretty negative person and most people don't want to hang out with negheads. That's a fact. But you're in contol of that. You can change that if you want to. I wonder why you're so hard on yourself? Why do you think you're so much more disgusting than every other person walking around your high school. I mean inside we all have disgusting traits--no one's perfect. In fact, if you knew the private lives of most people, and the private thoughts of most people, you'd be horrified. So, unless you're torturing animals or something, you're probably no worse than anyone else. And you're a nice person, apparently. So, you got that going for you, and that's SUPER important in life.

I look forward to your reply,

Ed