What type of dissociation is this?

I am pretty sure I dissociate. I feel like I am not connected to my thoughts. It feels like I think out of my mouth and not in my head. I feel out of my body a lot like I am not connected. I have thought processes in my mind that drive me to do things I am not aware that I am doing. I can blank out for hours at a time on a few occasions. It's really hard to describe what happens to me because I'm so unaware of it sometimes. I cut myself to stop myself from blanking out and dissociating. It is so disconcerting.

Caucus,

Dissociations are common in people who have BPD. I'm sorry that it leads you to self harm, but I know what you're going through. I have been living with dissociations as long as I can remember (I don't have dis. identity disorder, but derealization and depersonalization are my old friends, lol).

We all cope differently, but from a very personal experience I suggest that, if at all possible, you don't necessarily try to stop it. That desire to run away from it as soon as it starts may lead to self harm. I believe that what helps me the most (however, it also could be because I've had it since I was very young so my brain got used to it) is that I usually simply do not try to control it. I let it go by, use it to daydream, mentally "fly" around, etc . Sometimes it helps me feel things more intensely than I usually can, so I try to evoke it on purpose. This is not something that I would suggest to anyone, especially after an intense emotional situation or trauma.

You may try grounding/emotional regulation activities or force yourself to pay attention to some object details. Unless dissociation is too strong and you can't do absolutely anything - which, realistically, does not happen every time - you can muster enough will power to ,for example, observe all details of some objects in your room..the more you focus on the details the faster you will remove yourself from your dissociation..or, you may try to squeeze an ice cube (btw, that also may help you distract from self harm). I personally like puzzles and I try to concentrate on the puzzle pieces. Initially, get nervous but then I re-try until I have it under control. Any activity that will force you to pay attention to it rather than to your inner urges may help.

I hope that your dissociations will become more manageable.

Hi, the disconnected feeling could be depersonalization, disconnected is how it makes me feel. The blanking out whilst doing things that you don't remember, that could be a symptom of dissociative identity disorder, could it also be a symptom of PTSD? I don't know much about PTSD as a separate issue, only as part of dissociative identity disorder.