Depersonalization from Childhood Ritual Abuse?

Hi,
I am new here and wondered if anyone else with these symptoms here has had a history of ritual abuse. (in my case specifically Satanic Ritual Abuse.)It began quit suddenly when I was not 16, the depersonalization/derealization symptoms along with frequent horrific nightmares. I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I would lose all contact with reality. It was very scary. It would induce panic attacks as well..Through years of therapy and after the McMartin Trial in Los angeles I began to have dream flashbacks etc and started putting pieces together that i had suffered abuse at about age 10.
I am now 47 years old and occasionally still have depersonalization episodes, I have major depression and sleep problems. Still have nightmares. I also have problems with hearing voices in my head. (not outside my head.) telling me what to do and arguing with eachother. Alters I assume. But sometimes I wonder if it's not some awful programming.

Hi,

I am a victim of childhood satanic ritual abuse also. I can tell you in my diagnoses I am considered an illusion in my brain not body. I have depersonalization too and become altered states, possibly DID, but it seems unknown to doctors. They classify as Dependant, narcassistic and borderline but with other personas guarding the main persona. Classification of self bothers me a tad bit.

It seems you could be an "illusion" also in mind not body. Not always there, suffer from night terrors etc, as do I. I just never thought I or anyone could be an illusion of self...I am always in a committee meeting in my head.

Hi,

I know it has been many months since you posted this and I hope you are still active in this forum. For some reason I only now came to see your post. (maybe because I was inactive for months also.) If you are still out there I would be interested in hearing your experience with Satanic Ritual Abuse.