Socializing tips anyone?

Part of the whole 'seeing the world like a movie' part of derealization for me is that I find it hard to socialize, because who socializes with the characters of a movie? One on one I never have anything to say, though I've been working on it and have gotten a lot better. I am more concerned about talking in a group. I will just sit there and listen, not even thinking about having to make a contribution, but afterwards I will feel like a fool for not saying anything and looking like an idiot.

Any tips on how to become a more active socializer?

I struggle a lot with this too. Sometimes I will try to give input to group conversations, but then I go somewhere else right after I speak and miss the chunk of conversation following. I've gotten a little better about this. But have to make a very intentional effort to stay focused and I have to be having a "good day" to even bother attempting. I think, be patient with yourself, take it slow, try to ground yourself as much as you can before and after .... maybe this will get you started?

"In every social gathering there are absorbers and absorbed: The absorbed are people who offer value and energy to the group by telling positive stories or jokes."

Be absorbed.

Learn some jokes.

Wow... I thought I was alone. I have a hard time socializing, too. (Sorry, I'm new to the forum and I want to be around people who I think can help progress through whatever I have).

Sometimes I stutter. Sometimes my words completely mess up, as if my brain doesn't want to recognize how a certain word is said. Sometimes I completely... zone out. And I can never look at people in the eye. I can get close to it, when it comes to people I've grown to trust, such as my husband, my grandmother-in-law, etc. But I just... Can't do it. Not even with my own baby. I try so hard to look at people in the eye and to socialize better, but I end up kinda' awkward, although I've been getting better, thanks to my husband and grandma-in-law.

Here are some tips for you: Practice. Talk to the people you trust most. And meeting and socializing with new people is a bonus that completely gives you a boost over-time, not right that instant. It'll make you stronger. And it'll make you feel good. And you'll get that confidence boost to socialize more, and better, too, as a result. Lastly though, and most importantly, don't be scared. Be honest. That was, and is, my biggest contributing factor. I'm kinda' as honest and open as it gets though. I feel like I have to be if I'm going to get better, and hey, it's working, so why not?

Although life may seem like a movie a lot of the time, it can get better, absolutely. It definitely takes time though, I'll tell ya' that. Stuff still looks like a dream, feels like I'm not there. And I think I have an "alter". Still not sure. But anyway, in order to get better, TAKE RISKS! It's the best way to get out of the dream-like state and get real. -Badum tish-

Nice to be around people who I can relate to and maybe even help out,
Lucy

Youtube on dating, or dating DVDs, CDs, will help here. What dating tips do for a person is teach them to connect with others. Because its about dating, its to the point, and step by step. learn what the pickup artist have learned, use it to talk to others. That is all they are really doing, is disarming people and talking to them. Being interesting... Try it.. You can use this stuff to be interesting or just for approaching people. It doesn't have to be used for dating. When you learn the art of approaching people, you wont need the other person to do the approaching, or waiting for someone to do the approaching. You will freely approach when you want to.

Monitor what you are thinking at the time that others are talking. Do you agree/disagree and why? Do you have an idea or experience that is related? Don't pressure yourself to say anything just ask yourself afterwards what your thoughts/feelings were during the conversation. If you do this enough you will find that you are more in touch with yourself more. This will allow you an opening to get in touch with the group. You will automatically know what you are thinking and will be able to get it out.

Up until the age of 15 my old nickname was 'speak when spoken to'. I was very shy. Then one day I overheard two girls in the bathroom talking about their boyfriends and how they felt, etc. Typical teenage girl talk. I thought how mature and self-expressive they were; how full and developed they were. I really wanted to be that way so I made it my goal to start opening up about my thoughts/emotions and within a few years my shyness was gone.

I don't know how old you are but I think young people it is relatively normal to go through an awkward stage and feel very self-concious in a group.

The interesting thing is, quiet people don't do all that badly: they aren't offensive or hogging the conversation and they are intriguing because no one else knows what they are thinking. People will halt the conversation and listen sometimes when a quiet person speaks because they really want to know who they are. Other times though, they become the forgotten entity.

The thing about socializing to me is that it can make my depersonalization worse. Sometimes it can feel like I am less a person than those around me, and that just makes me feel depressed and awful. Another annoyance is when people ask me stuff, like my opinion on various things, and I have to conjure up something believable to hide the fact that I'm so empty and apathetic. To be honest, I'm not quite sure that any of my friends really know my 'true' self. That's the reason why I prefer to be alone sometimes, at least when DP is at it's worst. Can anyone relate to this?

for me the key to it is choosing who will you socialize with., yes it will not always come but it terms of making you exposed to the society you have to find people that you are comfortable with. people that is not only there for your company but is willing to share your company to others and will always see you through. the more the your company is constricted and not even minding your presence will always make you feel bad, but do not feel exhausted, once there is someone who is really interested in your company, just show him or her who you really are., we don't know it might be start of your indulgence to the world.

I wish I had the answers for feeling so socially awkward. I am really hard on myself about it.
I can't seem to connect with anyone and the moment our eyes meet I start getting intrusive pictures
Of weird things in my head. It's almost like they have X-ray eyes and I feel like they can see
Me too much so I look away and then I think that maybe they think I'm weird. It happens with evryone even my own son who is 8. I am often quite in conversations as well but not on my head. I'm pretty extroverted by nature but when it comes to making a contribution to a topic I feel like I can talk in my head and so forth but outwardly I'm frozen, the. I begin worrying and depressing on why I feel like I can't move. I feel like my body is a prison. Drinking alcohol helps a little but I obviously don't recommend it on a permenemt basis. I have a major possibility of abusing it so I shouldn't drink at all. Therapy I think is helping me, I question it a a lot and wonder how competent my therapist is but what choice have I got? I can't take mess cuz they make me feel worse. I have a child who needs me and I will beat this!! I've been told to try tapping/grounding exercises to start to feel more in touch with my body but I admit I get lazy sometimes or have a bad attitude about it. I have since yesterday found some hypnosis sessions via an app I downloaded and also guided imagery in helpful for analyzing my internal space more. Sorry if this didnt help you but I know how u feel.

I find I zone out the majority of the time during conversations, I just find them so overwhelming. It is important to find people who you can cope with, I find those who are calmer better for me. I also find at least finding a few things I can comment on useful, I will normally prepare something for about 1/2hr before I add to the conversation. I think also accepting how you are with people is important, even if you want to change, it's important to remember that any contact with others is a huge step, one that you should be really proud of.