Musings from a newbie

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Talking is good for you! I probably have something like Bipolar Disorder too, and it used to be worse than it is now. I try to do things like working out or talking to someone when I get depressed, and it helps so it might be some kind of milder version.
I got anxious because I knew that the depression was right around the corner and it was a very stressful thought.
Maybe being with people is your "talent", sort of, or it used to be. But that doesn't mean that you can't grow. You might find something else or things may get easier. It does sound like one condition brings on the other in your case, though, from what you describe. It's messed up, but at least you're making sense of it.

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I wish I could do more to help, Loua, but know that I'll be here if you need to talk. You can PM me too, if you like. Honestly, if I get depressed or scared, what helps me the most is telling someone that I'm close to, usually someone I met here.
It must be frightening to have one of those manic episodes. I've only been depressed and then "normal". It won't happen again, because you're getting treatment, Loua. And now that you're thinking about your situation and getting some support, you're stronger.
It's possible that I've had a panic attack or something at one point, I'm not sure what it was. It felt like I was being torn appart and there was this pain and emptiness inside of me, but no peace. The emotions lasted almost a few months after that. It was very scary, but when I started getting the pain off my chest, it all got better. I don't think it'll happen again.
Maybe you could try posting about this stuff in other forums as well, so you'll get more replies and maybe more advice.

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Yes, you have a point I will always be here when you need to talk and vent about what you're going through.