Depersonalization beyond belief, please help

Hi everyone.

I really, really dont' know how to explain this without sounding completely crazy. For 5 weeks I have been suffering from horrible derealisation and depersonalization, it used to make me horribly anxious but now I feel completely numb to it. My friends and parents now feel like strangers which concerns me. The psychiatrist said that I have gone through a cannabis induced psychosis and I'll come out of it in a few weeks but now my symptoms have gotten so bad I think that Im in an alternate reality (Im living in a different world) , thats how bad my derealisation has gotten. However, I don't fully believe this, its not a fixed belief, but I feel so detached from reality that the world feels completely unreal and i'm living in what seems to be heaven or whatever you could call it. But once again, I feel nothing, no anxiety, just absolutely nothing. I am completely numb to a thought which would cause a normal person unbearable anxiety.

What the hell is going on can someone please explain if this is normal or not, any help is greatly appreciated but I am seriously detached from the world. My house doesn't feel like my own and Im just a big stranger in my once familiar environment. I am so so so lost

( I'm strictly not advised to go on any medication due to my previous drug addiction before this all started as all options are considered very addictive )

Greetings!

I know this can seem very odd and "crazy." I commend you for taking the step to become sober. There have been several posts here from people stopping canabis reporting similar symptoms, so you're not alone. I've never taken drugs, but do experience this a lot lately (for other reasons).

There is a free meditation series online from UCLA...just search for this. It helps direct your mind to focus on parts of your body. You can also try some grounding techniques. Think of things using all your senses: grouping items in a room by color, rubbing ice on your body and putting in your mouth, wearing a scent on your wrist you can smell. You can also research grounding techniques. Hopefully, some of these strategies will help until this passes.

Kali

Yeah I have DP every day and every night for years now I'm not sure what to tell you but nothing feels real I struggle every day to leave the house and to think straight (maybe telling you about my experiences will make you feel about it I don't know.)


Nothing feels real I try to pinch myself t o run water on my hands but it doesn't make a difference my mind is on a different plane


I wish this would go away but it's not and I'll probably have it until death.

Maybe since you got yours later on (from what I gathred from your post.) Yours will go away I just know mines won't since I've had it since I was young.

Derealisation/depersonalisation can either cause extreme anxiety or numbness or both alternating. Derealisation serves to shut a part of your brain down when it is trying to cope with too much stress, so numbness is the actual goal for that mechanism. But it causes anxiety when the mechanism isn't working properly. So in a way, yes, that disconnection and numbness is normal. It's not healthy, or a normal state that a person should exist in. But it's expected in high states of stress, trauma, prolonged anxiety, substance abuse and withdrawal etc. For some people, it can last a long time. For others, it comes and goes quickly. Some people have it on and off over long periods. I've mostly had it where I can't recognise myself or society or the world/Earth and everything seems alien. I've also had times where I do not feel human at all and feel like I am something else that has to get out of my body. Derealisation has always caused me massive anxiety. But now I'm having it a bit milder, I'm not recognising myself in the mirror properly because of a slightly chipped tooth (I also have body dysmorphic disorder) and that has caused anxiety as usual but also a numbness towards other things. At work and university I feel in a daze and don't function well, I feel like nothing is real.
It will pass with time, just wait it out and try to rest, go out for walks, eat, talk with professionals, all the usual stuff. I'm trying but I'm turning to alcohol big time and it's making me feel awful.

this is so relateable. i will have people who i truly love and appreciate seem to be annoying and bothersome, when they are just either trying to help, or acting in ways that usually make me happy and reciprocate in conversation, etc.

i term them 'dead zones,' and i let people who i am close-to know that they occur, and that they are Not my choice, nor are they me losing interest or attention in that person (or activity; it sometimes involves things that i normally like doing, but it is different than a depression-state, which to me seems to be a long, persistant nonstopping pattern of disinterest in what used-to-be appealing.) this seems to help immensely and in reassuring them that i will return and be back, it helps me to remember this also. i generally try to ride it out in solitary activities, which can take on a mechanical, detached feeling when doing them, but seems to end up with some pretty good art; sometimes, artwork that i might not have been able to produce in another state of mind.

i am dealing with DID and this state seems to coincide with one of my alters' presence. But (and this is a big but,) is has a way of also coming-on randomly, without warning. it never leads to dangerous behavior in a risky sense, but it is inrerpersonally threatening if people think that they are being ignored, etc, so i definitely remind them once in awhile that i do not mean it personally.

-- Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:00 pm --

this is so relateable. i will have people who i truly love and appreciate seem to be annoying and bothersome, when they are just either trying to help, or acting in ways that usually make me happy and reciprocate in conversation, etc.

i term them 'dead zones,' and i let people who i am close-to know that they occur, and that they are Not my choice, nor are they me losing interest or attention in that person (or activity; it sometimes involves things that i normally like doing, but it is different than a depression-state, which to me seems to be a long, persistant nonstopping pattern of disinterest in what used-to-be appealing.) this seems to help immensely and in reassuring them that i will return and be back, it helps me to remember this also. i generally try to ride it out in solitary activities, which can take on a mechanical, detached feeling when doing them, but seems to end up with some pretty good art; sometimes, artwork that i might not have been able to produce in another state of mind.

i am dealing with DID and this state seems to coincide with one of my alters' presence. But (and this is a big but,) is has a way of also coming-on randomly, without warning. it never leads to dangerous behavior in a risky sense, but it is inrerpersonally threatening if people think that they are being ignored, etc, so i definitely remind them once in awhile that i do not mean it personally.

Do you also feel like time has stopped, and that wherever you are, you're living in one eternal moment of complete emptiness, in a void? And that your mind is always silent (or filled with fear and dread) and cannot react emotionally to external stimuli?

If so, it sounds like "ego death" which is what I think I'm currently experiencing. Mind is always blank and I feel like I'm living in one eternal moment of unending torture.