Is this dissociation?

Can anyone tell me whether this might be dissociation?

For about five years now, I've had this overwhelming feeling that I'm not a "real" person. I feel as if I'm more like a replica or imitation of a person.

Everything around me feels real, but often I feel disconnected from my body - it almost seems difficult to believe that I exist, and everything about it seems a little distorted. Sometimes my reflection looks nearly unrecognizable.

I also feel like I have to impulsively hide what my personality is actually like around others, which can be rather extreme at times. I've been attributing it to social anxiety, but I'm wondering if it has something to do with the other things.

There are probably more knowledgable people to answer this, yet I see this board doesn't have a lot of traffic, so I'll comment. What you're experiencing when you're body doesn't feel real is depersonalization (when the world isn't real it is derealization). These feelings or the feeling of dissociating in anyway can occur on their own or can be accompanied by anxiety--like a social anxiety episode.

So to answer your question, yes you are experiencing dossociation. (It's a more vague term and depersonalization is included.) People often have issues with dissociation as a defense mechanism rather than having an actual dissociative condition, although one can be diagnosed with something like depersonalization disorder. When it feels like it interferes with your functioning to where you are unable to do average things, is when I'd reccommend seeing a professional. I'm not sure if you're experiencing your depersonalization as a result of anxiety--even if you dissociate when you don't feel anxious--or if it is something that can be totally separate from it. I'm also not sure if "your hiding" in public is related to any anxiety or to your dissociation. If it is troubling, a therapist can be helpful. Good luck.

yes, KatieKat I agree with what you said. Corvids, I feel like this a lot and found the following book to explain it well. Daphne Simeon- Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the loss of the self (Don't get turned off by the use of a diagnosis, I'm not formally diagnosed, but I felt like this book explained a lot). Although the book may give you some understanding, and the forums can help you feel less alone, I would highly recommend seeing a therapist.

Please let us know how you get on. Best wishes.

Thank you for the replies! I will definitely take those pieces of advice. I originally looked into getting help because I've been self-harming because of this. I most likely will see a therapist.

I also suspected it might be dissociation because of something I went though as a kid - sometimes I'd "freeze up" and experience time loss. For example, I remember being at my desk, and the next moment all the other students were sitting on the floor to listen to a story. I even had my brain scanned to see if I was having seizures, but they couldn't come up with an explanation.

Hi Corvids
It definitely sounds like dissociation. Sometimes we develop dissociative mechanisms which can eventually carry on into normal situations, like you stated when you were at school and found all students sitting on the floor. Dissociation is usually a coping mechanism which we develop when we dont know how to deal with a stressful or traumatic situation, usually in childhood. I usually can dissociate when I cannot deal with things. I experience the same feelings of 'being there but not really being there' and feelings of being numb where I dont feel any emotions at all. Help from my psychologist is really been a positive for me because he stated that sometimes when I would cut it would be because it would allow me to feel something at least. Obviously that is not the best way to feel so he has given me other techniques that have helped. I guess if you find that you are dissociating more, or its interfering with life then seek some advice or read the book that unknown posted for you. Good luck!

Thanks for the information, symboline. I definitely experience dissociation more when I'm very stressed, though it does often carry into normal situations.