Wondering if my spouse is developing dementia/alzheimers

My spouse is 55. He has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and has occassional depression for which he will not get therapy or treatment and is in denial. This last year, I have seen an increase in forgetfulness on his part. He makes statements like...That's the first time I've heard that? Or you never told me that before, when I clearly did. Last week, he called me to find out where important paper work could be found and went and retrieved it himself while I was on the phone for the tax people. This week he called me again and asked me where he could find certain financial paperwork. I directed him to the same 31 tab folder that I did last week and he asked me where it was? Not, is it in the same place as last week but "Where can that be found?" like he had never seen it before. I tell him each and every time where the paperwork is kept when I travel, just in case something happened to me, he would be able to function, and each time he tells me that he wouldn't have remembered if I hadn't told him. Or we'll agree on something and then he will walk away and never think of it again. Sometimes he remembers that we discussed it and sometimes not. Then he'll make it sound like I wasn't clear in how I presented it and that he shouldn't be expected to have known that. He gets very defensive when I indicate to him that he didn't remember something. Last year he left his car key in the ignition on three separate occassions requiring that a tow truck be brought out to charge the battery.

He has always been dysfunctional due to his OCPD, is a procrastinator, never paid his taxes or balanced a checkbook and has deep regrets over things he wanted to do but just couldn't get it done.

He puts things that are in his way in the basement but he can never remember where exactly he put them. I know if I suggest to him that he get tested, he will freak out on me. Any thoughts?

By the way, I'm the same age and I already know I have some mild cognitive loss. I'm dealing with a neighbor who has periods of dementia but her age is advanced and I'm assuming that mine is stress related as well as normal aging but I wouldn't be afraid to find out.

Any thoughts?

Hi, MC1312! Are there other family members that you could talk to about this, so that maybe they'd help you convince him to see a doctor? You could talk to a doctor who specializes in this yourself and ask them when and if you could take him to see someone even if he doesn't want to. I have a relative with Alzheimer's but things got pretty bad for him from the beginning and he didn't resist seeing a doc.

[quote="MC1312"] HI. i am 50 and i can relate to your story. i noticed that i was starting to loose my short range memory about 5 years ago, it has gotten so bad, that i could not longer cook without staying in the kitchen, because everytime i would forget about it.

i have seen myself too involved in my thoughts, to the point of doing other things almost automatically, so later on i would not remember if i had done it or not, like securing the entry of my house at night...i would wake up until 5 times, because i could not remember if i had done it or not.
i did look for help. my psiquiater sent me to make a wide blood exam...my iron was very low and also vitamin B! andB6, and sugar was also a possibility...when i have not eaten, i can not think..

and i think that men als women go through a mild menopause. mine was terrible and it lasted almost ten years...i am doing better, but i have totally changed my life style and i am learning to see the signs of tiredness and stress in order to slow down...
i hope this info helps you.

Hi there
I would encourage anyone to go as early as possible to the doctors if they are concerned about their memory. We had to push to get a diagnosis for my hubby. He has dementia and is 56. With some forms of dementia medication can slow the rate it progresses. X