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Almost cured. Now what?

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Almost cured. Now what?

Postby GemmadiRosso » Sun May 12, 2019 11:23 pm

Hi, everyone!
I really need to vent and hope to be listened...
Thing is, I have no idea how to live "normally".
Any idea?
I was diagnosed cychlothymia 2 years ago. After about 20 years of fruitless attempts get some help. I am from a little town in central Russia and the mental health area is a disaster here. Also I suppose my case wasn't that obvious. See, I have a very mild form of the disorder, so I was able to control myself through heights and lows...most of times. Only this control ate all my energy, so what looked like very mediocre life was actually all the time struggle...
Long story short due to my treatment I haven't had suicidal thoughts since the February 2018, and no significant mood traps since last September. My doctor says I did a great job and keep having a good progress...
And yeah...it is definitely so.
Only...
I _was_ ready to changes.
But as I've never knew what this "normal" life about, I lost a lot of significant parts of it.
See, I am from a family with the psychiatric story, the type of relationship I used to learn from my childhood was more like "toxic codependent amusement" (for example...part of my problems are related to my non cured concussion my mom caused). No surprise all my life I did everything around the scenario, no matter how hard I've tried...
Since last year, all these toxic codependent related lifestyle was started slowly disappear...Taking away all my friends and close circle, sort of romantic relationships(sex also), comforting habits etc...
Not like I miss any of these))
Thing is, by now this new healthy life feels extremely lonely, cold and challenging...
1. I have no friends anymore...And I have no idea how to make it right.
2. I've changed my job and as I'm happy with the new one, I have no idea how to start healthy relationships with my colleagues...
3. I've stopped even trying to find a couple. Feel like I need to figure it all out first.
4. My relationships with my kids, especially with my daughter are in a bad shape. They used to base on my constant feeling quilty and victimizing myself and my kids... Now...I have no idea what's going on...
5. I face a lot of problems caused by my previous lifestyle and the habit to distract myself from reality with dramatizing instead of do something... ok, now I'm here and now person, and I do feel in control, but I am all alone with this mess, I have no idea there are to start and it's no point to ask around :(

What I really need now - people who were through something similar... I desperately need my new virtual village, to support and be together through setting "new happy and healthy life" thing...
What do you think?
Any ideas?

Thanks in advance for any kind of comments
Anyway, all these troubles are just a little storm in a Paradise. I feel like I've never been alive and maybe it's the only thing worth sharing:)
Cyclothymia is curable! Hurray?)
GemmadiRosso
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