bobolono1234 wrote:Hi all, I am new to this site and am replying to old posts so hope I still get a response. Over many years, possible since being a teenager I have suffered with intermittent low moods. They are low enough to make me not want to work/socialize/want to hide from everyone/want time to stop and just cry! I have always wondered if this was just my hormones or just normal life or whether I had a medical condition. I've been tot he doctors a few times, had a bit of therapy, CBT, offered the pilll or antidepressants (which I refused) and considered being bipolar like my mother is (but wrote this off as my symptoms seem to be much milder). I have wondered if I had PMDD. I have tracked my menstrual cycle and definitely have lows just before my period but sometimes during and just after I ovulate. I also have lows at other times, I think!? It's the instability I struggle with. When I'm feeling stable or great, I'm just happy go lucky, work if fine, social is fine, all is rosy. Then I fall and just want to hide and cry. I feel so disappointed in myself, that I can be like this. Like I'm some kind of loser. But when I'm happy I feel so confident and in control. I have also had kids (they are 4 and

and this yes has been challenging at times. The worst part for me is when I am low, I really want and need space to be low, and that's not really possible is it. My work suffers too - I just don't want to do it and struggle to concentrate. But then I am glad after that I didn't give it up when I was low as really enjoy it otherwise. Nightmare! So I have only recently discovered Cyclothimia and wonder if that is what this is all about. What did others do them you realized you may have it? Did you go straight to the doctor or try to deal with it yourself? I would love to have some friends that suffer the same, so that we can talk about it together.
Hi and welcome
I don't have cyclothymia, but do have PMDD and depression. I've been on the pill for it since 2013- I have also been told I probably have endometriosis, but don't want to go through surgery at this point- the pill helps that too. I've had some doctors and psychiatrists who accept PMDD as a diagnosis and others who don't seem to believe in it (who were mostly male, surprise surprise). The pill for me has totally changed my life and has meant that I no longer have the extreme moods. I'd be frightened now to go off it. The idea of having what I'd call a normal period scares me, and looking back, don't know how I managed to cope with what I did. I do know that the pill doesn't work for some women though too.
It did take me some time to make the connection between my cycle and my moods, but when I started paying more attention to it, I had a two week thing going on- my baseline was depressed, so two weeks of being depressed, but mostly functioning, and then two weeks of my mood totally crashed, with sit and stare at the wall depression and suicidal episodes- the swing was extreme. My mood would crash about a week before my period would start and stay low for two weeks. I knew that once a period started, I could count the days till my mood would lift.
With depression on top of PMDD, it is confusing sometimes what's what. I could still have deep depressions outside those two weeks (usually caused by something), but in general I'd find my worst would centre around those two weeks- and 99% of the time, had no emotional reason behind them. I'd go to therapy, sit down and cry, saying I felt like crap for absolutely no reason at all- it took a long while to work out the pattern. Once I did figure the pattern out it became really predictable. Much of what I've read about PMDD says that generally mood lifts on period starting, but I've found my severely depressed mood would last another 5 days after, So I have come to the conclusion that is just how my body works with this.
I have heard of women having psychotic episodes triggered by their cycle. After what I dealt with, I don't think anything's impossible. Would recommend looking into PMDD more though just to see if it resonates with you. Be prepared to ask more than one doctor/therapist about it, because a lot seem to think it doesn't exist.
bobolono1234 wrote:Did you go straight to the doctor or try to deal with it yourself?
I did ask my GP at the time about it- he was a male GP who didn't deal with "women's stuff". So shoved prescription painkillers at me for the pain and was left to deal with the mood swings myself. Antidepressants were his only other offer, which I can't tolerate. Was eventually pushed in the direction of a female GP. Have only dealt with female GP's since. So it took a while to get there. Having a therapist who could validate feeling like crap with no reason, and not needing to find a reason at those times when there really wasn't one was helpful.
I really hope you can find something that helps you and that you can get an answer that feels like it fits properly.