Help !!!

Hi
Im 18 years old and i believe that i am a compulsive liar and i really want to stop i just dont know where to start
I would really like someone to help i dont know where to start or anything
a friend of mine called me a compulsive liar yet i wasnt lying about anything then it got me thinking about all the stuff ive liar about
I work at bigW doing night fill ( not a great job) so a few weeks ago a group of people asked where i worked and i made it up that i work at NRMA how stupid am i
anyway I did a customer service course at tafe last year but the thing is i was thinkin and the whole way thru that course i didnt lie becuz i felt so good about myself that i was doing something becoming someone now im NO one
im doing it again
I dont lie too my boyfriend i cant its not right and if i do i tell him straight away and he's helping but i dont like it i feel so bad
I dont want too loose my friends there awesum and yet im pushing them away
i need help
please if ANYONE can help me im always on msn and i really want to change

thanks Mel

Hello Mel,

I'm 25 years old and have only very recently realized that it is very difficult for me to tell the truth. I have a problem, and could very well be a compulsive liar. I have very often lied about big and small things to all of my family and friends since I was little. Some of these friends I have had for more than 10 years. I was recently confronted about a very big lie and about my innability to tell the truth even when given the option to do so.

What has happened is that I have poured my heart out and told my family about these lies. My father is ill and I am sure that it must have hurt him very deeply as he does not believe he does not have a great deal of time left. Realizing that he does not even know his son must hurt a lot. Nevertheless he told me that he loves me and that all of us have difficulties. But, what is important is to realize and try to do better.

When I told a friend about what I had lied to her, she comforted me and suggested that I need to talk to someone about my problem. When she hung up I could feel that I had lost her as a friend. It is something that I must live with.

I am not a psychiatrist, but I can tell you that something might be wrong if you are unwilling to tell those you love the truth. I lied for many reasons: to make myself seem better in the eyes of others, to get out of trouble, to gain approval from my parents, and sometimes for no reason. None of these are worth the pain and hurt that a lie causes.

Lies have hurt those I love most. Some will never speak to me again. The few that I still have might never trust me fully again.

My advice to you is to trust those who are close to you (boyfriend, family, friends). Tell them that you have difficulty telling the truth and be honest about your mistakes, and then work from there. Please, do not wait for someone to confront you with a lie. They will only feel more betrayed and hurt.

I am not a very religious person, but I have found a little comfort in prayer. I do not know what will happen to me, but I will be sure to pray for you Mel.

Hoping that everything will work for you,

Hi
Today i didnt lie about anything
day one
very hard but i kept bitting my tongue but its ok
i have the same problem with u i think that im not good enough and i need to make myself look better but really im me and i dont need to look better i am who i am
and low self esteem doesnt help but im working on it
each day is a step but i still need the help

thanks Leo
Mel

I'm trying to take it one day at a time also Mel. It's what my best bud keeps telling me. One day at a time.

I'm glad to hear it's going ok with you.

hey
well today was kinda like yesterday but i did lie and i said straight out that it was a lie and i didnt mean it but it was embarrassing but Ok
im going to go to tafe this year too doo i know wat yet but something
plus im going to BARMAX to do the whole RSA RSG ETC
im excited about that
im still trying to understand why i had to do this to myself why im not happy with who i am its kinda scarie but im doing it slowly
one thing i have to say is that no matter how scared i am im going to stop
Mel

Keep up the good work, both of you. I never thought much about compulsive lying until just this week, when I have caught my husband in yet another lie. He will lie about things if he thinks he will "hurt" me, or even things he just feels defensive about. Needless to say my trust in him is gone, and I don't know if it can be rebuilt. It's hard to relate to someone when you don't know if the person they are presenting you with is real.

The best thing to do is what you two are doing. If you lie about something, catch yourself and admit it at the time...or even go back later and explain. It's better to admit you have a problem and try to fix it than to deny it to yourself and believe your own lies.

Thank you for the kind words Devanna, I am sorry to hear about your husband. I understand what you mean about trust being lost and possibly never rebuilt. I know that it must hurt, as I have caused that very same hurt in someone very special to me.

Mel, I am definitely with you on that one. "no matter how scared i am im going to stop."

I am not sure where tafe and BARMAX are or what an RSA/RSG is but I am glad that you are excited to go and hope you have lots of fun.

Yesterday, I told my two best friends that I was a compulsive liar, and admitted to them every lie I had told them. This was the second/third time I confessed to them. The other times I did not fully confess and even lied (during my confession) so I could protect some very big lies. After the very first confession (and even before this) they had known or suspected that everything I had told them about me was a lie.

After my final confession, one of my best friends told me "Hello, my name is ******, how about you?" He was giving me a fresh start. I do not have words for what this meant to me.

I also talked to a good friend who is a priest. We talked for a while. I had even lied to him, and told him so and all my lies. It is funny, but in his eyes I seemed to be the same person, just with a problem he didn't know I had. He also gave me the number of a counselor whom he said is qualified to help me. I am going to call him on Monday.

Mel, I also will keep taking these small steps. I am afraid of what is going to happen, but anything is better than not trying to stop lying.

Good going Leo! You have some really good friends there.

Hey
today wasnt too good i got in a fight with my family and ended up hiding in my room but a positive came out of it me and my mum talked about wats going on
i watched a movie a few weeks ago called raise ur voise anyway theres this song in it and its really good
its called someones watching over me
and theres this part in it and it goes " so i wont give up no i wont brake down soon then it seems life turns around and i will b strong even if it all goes wrong when im standing in the dark i still believe it doesnt matter wat people say and it doesnt matter how long it takes believe in urself "
those words are so good i was singing it in the shower and i started to believe it
no matter wat im gunna become someone and if my parents dont aprove then thats there bad luck becuz i am a beautiful person and i am pretty

Mel

Hey,

Sorry to hear about you having a fight with your parents. I guess that how people react can be very different and unpredictable, especially if they're hurt. But, you must be happy that something is happening with your mom.

When I did it, I just felt this huge relief that I had finally gotten it out there, and would not be able to hide it anymore. Someone could actually see just me. I called my councelor today, but it turns out that I was given the wrong number. I'm checking the net now and waiting for my friend to get back to me with the correct number.

Mel, hang in there. You are doing something to help yourself, and be proud about that. Like you, I don't want to lie. I want to be someone real too.