The Help Thread

Here is where I will be posting the information I have found that will help people who are trying to change along the way. I have found books, counseling, therapy information, and other means of help in my search to help change myself. I will post these things here, and hope that everyone who needs it uses it to get help for themselves.

Let me first start off with a book I found that helps victims deal with the pain, since I got bashed, and will probably continue to get bashed by victims here.

The book is entitled: "When your Lover is a Liar:Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal"
Author Name: Susan Forward

Also available in Audio format.

I will gather more information as often as possible and post that information here.

Sincerely,

Lying Sin (Max)

Thank you lying sin. I mean what I've said in previous post, I hope you can change, I sincerely mean this.

Thankyou lying sin. As I've posted you before I'd like to say I truelly hope you can change. I sincerely mean this. Thankyou for the book name for people like me who have been hurt and damaged by peoples lying.

You are welcome. I am trying to do everything I can to make myself change for all the better. I want to help those on both sides of the spectrum because I see the damage I've done in my own household, and there is no denying the hurt and the pain that is surrounded by lies, big or small. I want to give hope to the hopeless and joy to the sad.

You should see the way my wife smiles at me when she knows she doesn't have to ask me whether I am being honest or not. I'm not saying I'm cured, or that she is healed, but I came home the other night after work only to hear her tell me how nice it has been the last few days for her, and how she has really enjoyed falling in love with me again.

I think it is never really over until you make it over, and as long as you keep going forward, you will never go back. Logical as that may sound, it is hard for some of us, but it doesn't mean it can't happen. I have lied to my wife now for the seven years we've been married, and the time we spent dating before that. It is not something she will forget from a few kept promises. There are so many others, left unfullfilled and broken. Going forward isn't always going to be easy. Sometimes it can be harder then anything you've ever done. For my wife and I, going forward isn't easy either. Things always resurface, things suspicious, things that I use to lie about, and they bring questions. She starts to doubt me, and I tell her it is okay to doubt. She tells me it's not fair, because I am trying so hard, I deserve the benefit of the doubt, but I tell her I do not. There is nothing to feel guilty about, she has committed no wrong, and the burden of proof lies with me, and the guilt of betrayal should be undone. She is not betraying me by listening to her heart. She would betray me to not speak up, not indicate some sense of unrest, and carry that uneasiness within her mind and soul, and let it dwell, and fester until it becomes a ball of anger and disbelief. Then she would lash out and the past will erupt along with the present, and this does nothing but slows down progress.

When ever there is a moment of doubt, we sit aside, and deal with it immediately. This helps us out in two ways, first it defeats the harboring of ill feelings, which is never healthy. Second, it demands the truth from the liar then and there. If he/she is willing to change, the truth should come easy, and proof should be given immediately. If he/she is still lying, then comes the escuses, the deceit.

I have learned a plethera of different things to help me on my journey. I want all to succeed in their journey to change. As I mentioned, the smile on my wife's face, I've not seen her this happy in a long time.

Lying Sin (Max)

As some of you may have noticed, I have been putting my name in parentheses, I figured annonymity is admirable for the some, but hiding the truth is the same as lying, I was brave enough to come here, why not be brave enough to show who I am. Anyone replying can call me either by my screen name or my real name. I am both the liar, and the man to the right of the liar trying to change.

Max,
I wnated to say thank you for your posts. They give hope to a fellow compulsive liar. i am taking the steps, slowly, to rid myself od this problem. I read two great books by Karl A Walsh, they are available on Amazon.com. If anyone is looking to understand their problem or help a loved one understand their problem, these books are a great starting pont. Any chance you are in NJ ?

Brian