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my friend is hurting people with his lies

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my friend is hurting people with his lies

Postby guest2323 » Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:09 pm

My friend is a well known physician, has his own clinic, nice family... but he is a compulsive liar. He doesn't have many friends because of that. He has many so called friends who are tolerating his behaviors just because he is rich, he doesn't charge "friends" at his clinic and he is giving "big" donations for many projects.
When we just met I didn't know he is compulsive liar. He helped me with some things and I was very grateful and I was feeling that I owe him my friendship and loyalty. Maybe because he was pointing all the time how much he helped me. Later when I got to know him better I realized that he is very insecure person who desperately needs attention and he is using his money to "help" others and to be their "savior".

I know him 2 years now and it is becoming harder and harder to deal with his lies. It makes me feel like I am going crazy.

First lies I have heard were how many properties he owns, how many people he helped, how much money he gave to community projects... It was just exaggerating and I wasn't paying too much attention. Then he would never show when he would tell that he will. I was spending all days waiting for him, but I was justifying that with the fact that he is physician and very busy. Also there are other promises that took my days and days but he never fulfilled them. And then he started telling lies about others. He was making many problems with those lies and he's still doing that. I believed him so many times before and I was thinking bad about some people because of him. In last 3 months I saw how he hurt few people with his lies so badly.
There is one girl that he promised to help with her immigration papers. That girl spend almost a year waiting for that and every time she wanted to quit and ask for help somewhere else he would come with some really good reason why not to do that and it was always "tomorrow we will do it for sure". He sent her application finally, he said they cashed check he sent and everything is fine. But after a month she got response that they can't process her application because he didn't send a check at all. Her visa is expired now and she is desperate.
Another person has cervical tumor, very big one. She lives far from where he lives and she is very poor. He promised her surgery. After a whole month of "preparations" for surgery and his constantly lying she went back home. She was devastated, I saw her crying and,Oh my God, it broke my heart. She spent little money she has and she is still sick. And the worst thing is that he is blaming her now.
I don't know what to do anymore. I understand that he is sick and I really feel sorry for him. But I feel sorry also for all people he is hurting. How should I deal with this situation?
If somebody try to confront him he becomes very defensive and then he doesn't like that person anymore and start talking bad. He is acting like it is something completely normal.

I'm very sorry for this long post.
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Re: my friend is hurting people with his lies

Postby Chucky » Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:31 pm

Hi,

You don't have to take any action in this situation, at least not any direct action with him. All that you should do is let him do his thing an just get on with your own life. There will always be cheats and liars in this life, and it simply is not up to you or I to try to convert each and every one of them. equally, it is not up to your or I to help the victims of such people. You DON'T have to associate yourself with him in any shape or form.

If you do feel the need to do somethign, then just advise people against relying on him for things.

Good luck
Kevin
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