Its takes a lot to confront yourself.

I am 20 years old, a college student, and recently married.

Its been so hard to admit it to myself that I am a complusive liar. I've tried denying it for the last couple of years since I have been trying to change, but it has not been an easy change.

I grew up with a single mom, which is where the lying began. As I look back to being very young, I was forced to lie by my mom. She made me lie about everything. She would make me lie about little things to the neighbors. She would send me over to the neighbors for her and ask them for cigerettes for her. She would make me lie to them about her paying them back for them. In return made me look horrible. My mom is known today as a complusive liar as well. I feel she turned me into a complusive liar because of all those things she made me do as a younger child. It became a second nature. It was natural for me to lie.

In the 3rd grade, i found out that lying gave me some sort of protection. Growing up with a single mom who lived on welfare was hard. My mom got into drugs and it left me in a horrible position. But in 3rd grade, i would lie about my friends being my brother or sister. Dumb lie right? But to me, that lie gave me protection. It made me feel safe. I wanted so badly a sister or brother. I wanted to feel part of a family.

Then these lies got worse. I lied about doing all these amazing things because I felt the need to be accepted. I was treated like constant crap because I came to school in elementary and middle school smelling like cigerettes and cat piss. All I wanted was to be accepted. But it did the opposite. I lied about being from different countries. The lie just kept going. I even went to church on my own since I was 6 years old, because I felt going to church protected me from the life I didnt want anymore.

No one believed anything I said anymore after middle school.


Finally in high school I had to move in with my dad and step mom and my step sisters because my mom and I no longer got along. The high school I went to had a couple of girls from the middle school i went to there. I felt that high school would be a place to change and stop lying. But these girls, they began to tell everyone I was a complusive liar. I felt because of that I couldn't change.

Eventually I joined another church that helped me become the woman I am today. The church saved my life. Ive never smoked, never drank. I am going to a university, I am married. And I am 20 years old and still lie about the little things to please people and to protect myself.

Those girls and guys who went to middle school and high school with me, well a couple of them are here at college to with me, and they still tell everyone that I am this complusive liar. How can I change if no one will give me a chance?

I am going to a conselour. The weirdest part is I have never lied to my husband, but I still fib to friends and etc. Is that weird?

I just want the burden of being a complusive liar on my chest anymore. Is it possible to change? It's just so hard.

Thanks. This venting was somewhat a relief.

Hopeinthedistance, of course it's possible to change! I know how heart breaking it is when people spread rumors about you and they don't give you a chance to live, it's disgusting that they're doing this to you.
Maybe the most hurtful thing you could do to them would be ignoring them. If you hear them say something about you, do something to make it seem like you're having fun right there, with them present. Is that possible? Do you have any friends in college who care about you and understand? If so, have your friend/friends with you all the time pretty much. Explain the situation to them and ask them to help you act like you're laughing about something or having fun with the people who are talking about you right there. It will kill their fun because they are doing this to hurt you and it will make them look stupid.
Be sure it's a friend you can trust and who is kind.

Is your counselor helping you with the lying? You have to really fight it and do your best to work hard in therapy. Are they helping with everything, including the issues connected to your childhood?
Maybe you don't lie to your husband because he makes you feel safe, whereas everyone else makes you feel insecure.