even worse

Just when I thought things couldn't be worse, my husband came home last night and accused me of cheating. Lying, yes, but cheating? NEVER! He said if I am capable of keeping the lies I've kept, who knows what else I am hiding. I am struggling to be sympathetic towards him, but it is so hard not to try and defend myself in this case. He has every reason not to trust me, and to have suspicions but now he is actually going to get paternity tests because he doesn't even think our kids are HIS!! I have nothing to worry about because I know they are, I never cheated. However, because of his mistrust I know that once we get the results and he sees that they are his, he will probably say something like, "you got lucky, that still doesn't mean you haven't cheated." That's how he is, and I just have no idea what to do. I know I have a lying problem, and I know it is bad, but I have never cheated on him, and I just don't know who to prove it to him.......he doesn't believe anything I say, and for good reason I know. I just have no idea what to do....when i say nothing or I defend myself, he comes back with, "that's what a liar says/does." I know he is angry with me and that it is all my fault. I told him I am going to seek help, but he says I'll never change. Is he right????

((((((((((Roxy))))))))))) He doesn't have the right to treat you this way. He's being abusive... You're trying to get better, he should try to support you through this. Are you having therapy? Maybe you could take him with you to a session so that the therapist can help you explain. I'm sorry he's putting you through this and sorry about the late reply. How are you?

Rox,

I understand where your coming from. I've lied so much that my wife ask me thing 4 or 5 times to make sure I'm telling the truth or I understand what I just said. Even with that I've still lied and still lie. Sometimes when I tell her something she says how do I know your not lying. With that I'm always getting frustrated, now thinking about it, she's right. How do she know, I always lie. I think your Husband is frustrated that he can't believe anything his Wife says. Just think about it, that's a pretty hard thing if you can't believe anything coming out the mouth of the person you chose to live the rest of your life with. As I read your post, I could actually see where the frustration with my wife comes from. I think therapy will really help you get to the point of your problem. Trust me, in a way I know what your going through. Not to bash you, but we put ourselves in these situations, now we must get ourselves out. I've just joined this site to turn my life around, I don't want to be the boy who cried wolf all the time.