Wanting to get help

I am so happy to have found this forum. I am not even sure how I found it. But, for the first time I realize that there are others out there like me.

I have a horrible problem with lying. It has led me to such destructive behavior and has hurt me professionally and hurt us financially. It has also caused my family to lose all trust in me. My husband is wonderful and has not given up on me but I think the rest of my family has.

I went through a major depression last year and was in counseling but never told the therapist all of my problems.

I have decided that I don't want to live like this anymore. I feel like I am just existing and not living. I called a really good psychiatric hospital that is about an hour from here. I thought I could get help right away but I have to wait for an appt. They said my insurance mandates that the appt. is within one week so they are trying to fit me in.

I hope that I can be helped. I feel so worthless and really hate this part of me. I want to be able to figure myself out. I know this is going to be hard and take a lot of work. It has been so helpful to me to read all of these posts from others experiencing things similar to me.

I hope the best for all of you. Thank you for "listening"

happy cooker,

You have just taken the largest and most important step...which is admitting that you have a problem. I hope that you can get connected with a good mental health profesional!
Take Care,
Kathy

Dear Happy Cooker,
Today I came to realize what I am.
I lie for absolutly no reason.
I feel afraid, that if my boyfriend(of 9 years). Sees me for the person I am, he will leave. But the funny thing is, my lying will be the reason.
He has told me, that uness I get help, he will leave, but he will not offer "any hugs or support" untill I show him I am getting help."\So tell me all, am I not entitled to some emotional support!! After admitting my problem, do I not deserve more than someones back??
Happy Cooker, I hope you have a good support system, as after today, I am truly ashamed for what I admited.
If anyone can offer support to me out there, I could really use it.

Thanks

lbsc101

Hello lbsc101

I know how hard it is to admit to having this problem. But when you can finally admit it - then you are on your way to helping yourself work through it.

My husband is great through this whole process but the rest of my family - daughter, sister, brother - have all shut me out. They now blame me for every wrong thing that has happened in our family in the last 20 years. This has been so difficult but I finally realized that I cannot control what they think. I can only control how I react so I am just keeping my distance, saying prayers for God to help me to know how to build bridges back to them and getting professional help so that I can try to figure out my actions and keep my life on track.

Just because my family is acting this way does not mean that all families do the same.

I know exactly what you mean about needing a hug, some consolation, reassurance ...... I need that too. My husband is great through all of this but the hugs etc. are not there. I get the most attention from my chihuahua's

One thing I have learned from all of this, I no longer judge people. Everyone makes mistakes but everyone has a good side too. I think that admitting you have goofed up and then trying to work through it and work it out is the most that anyone can ask.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Oh - have you read the book called Liar's Revelation - if you have not, I highly recommend it. I found it on Amazon.com for undre $5.00 - it will be a good help to you and to anyone that needs to try and understand you.

I will say a prayer for you and for your relationship to be stable through this. Take care and let me know how you are.

B.

Hello Happy Cooker,
I think we spoke before.

First of all I applaud you for wanting to get help - down come the balloons and confetti and all! No seriously, big hugs from me. I know that you can do it.

Honey. None of us are perfect and whilst that's an excuse for you to lie and hurt people... don't feel like a rotten blaggard. 'come to yourself'. Sit in silence and know yourself and know what you have said and done. You sound like a truely decent person to me with historic problems... many of us have those.

Happy Cooker, go and get some therapy. Change something in your life. Dress diffently with every lie you don't tell. Be a NEW person. Look forward to the NEW you! You WILL and CAN stand on your own feet being who you are. HOLD YOUR HEAD UP!
Hello? Who are you? You're a damn, good person. A decent one.

I know that this is what you want too. You will feel so loved, so wanted and so good afterwards that you will look back on your life and close a book that is still open to you... which is why you got into the habbit in the first place.

BE STRONG HAPPY COOKER. YOU ARE A FAR BETTER PERSON THAN YOUR LIES - YOU ARE BETTER THAN MOST!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! I DO!

I wish you all the best. Hugs and peace go with you.

Tommy

Hi Tommy,

Thank you for your encouragement.

I am seeing a therapist and she is helping me so very much. My husband came with me the first time and that was very helpful too.

It is hard to see the good in yourself when you know the wrongs you have done. But, having someone help you who does not judge you but works with you to try and understand the motives for your actions and ways to change is making such an great difference in my life. It makes me think that someday I will be able to look in the mirror and not see someone I hate.

God is working very hard in my life also and that is an amazing thing. He can give such strength and courage.

How are you doing ? I hope you are doing well.

Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement. Off to do some cooking - that's what keeps me sane and makes me happy.

Take care !