Is this considered compulsive lying??

Hello everyone! My question is this:

My sister's husband lies all the time. His lies are comprised of like any question you ask him, he tells a lie. I'm talking just everday, whatever stuff. If he went fishing and you ask him how many he caught - he will lie about the amount, but then tell the truth. It is so bad that nobody - including his wife and kids can believe anything he says.

He doesn't tell lies like about his past, like saying he did this and that and then we find out it's not true.

It's just this extremely annoying everyday conversation stuff. Usually after he tells the lie, he then tells the truth.

I fully believe he is teaching their kids to lie - both of them do now and they are 4 and 8 years old.

I know it is "compulsive", but does this fall under the definition? I don't think he does it to be hurtful at all - but it is really taking a toll on the family, so it is hurting.

Thanks for any input - I hope this makes sense!

Hi, LisaZ! Have you talked to your sister about this? You should tell her that you're worried he is a bad influence on the kids when he lies. I think only a professional could really tell you what's going on with him. Maybe you and your sister could get through to him together.

Hi Jasmin - My sister has frequently talked to him about it, but nothing changes. All of us are sick and tired of it. I am very concerned about the kids picking this up (they already have) and I think it would be awful for them to get this ingrained in them.

I was going to email them some articles on compulsive lying and the damage it can do to kids. I just wanted to make sure what he does falls in this catagory.

He doesn't do this to be mean or malicious, but it is causing them a lot of problems.

My concern is for my nieces and the damage he is doing.

If you email them the articles and his behavior falls into this category, they might be able to see it for themselves. You could give them a link to this site as well. I wish I could be of more help.

Hey LisaZ,

I think it's important to say that no-one here can give a diagnosis based on limited information.

However, this is the best definition of a compulsive liar that I have found:

Compulsive Liar

A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (see, Pathological Liar), rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship.


Maybe you could ask your sister if this sounds familiar. Check out these links if you haven't already. How to cope with a compulsive liar: http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/confront_a_liar/public/compulsive_lying.html and read peoples experiences with confronting a liar: http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/confront_a_liar/public/confront_compulsive_liar.html

Hope this helps, good luck!