Need a little guidance and to share my story.

Well i think it might help if i am able to tell my story to those that might understand.


I am a compulsive liar. I have been for along time. I've been said to have ADHD as well but don't know for sure. Ever since i was a kid i felt the need to lie. I always am trying to please everyo ne and it seems that sometimes lying is the only way to do that. I know what i do is wrong but for some reason i keep on doing it. It effected my relationships with my mother and father growing up and well it's gotten worse.

I recently got married FEB 14th of 08'. I built a web of lies both intentinally and unintentially. But for whatever reason i kept lying to everyone including my wife. Recently things got really bad and i put my family in jepordy of loosing our house so i had to come clean about everything. I laid it all out on the table and told my father and wife everything. Everything i lied about and that i wanted to change and become a new person. And i really do want to change and i'm working very hard to change, however it's not happening as fast as i want it too and the trust issue that was effected by my lieing has not been healed and i don't expect it to for quite some time. But i really don't want to lose my family. I am working very hard and i found a support group here locally that meets once a month that i am going to start attending at the next meeting. I am doing my best to rebuild the trust with my wife but she is still questioning most things i tell her and can't take me on my word. That alone hurts more then anything in the world and i wish there was a way to heal the wounds faster. I don't want to change just for her i want to change the way i live for myself and mty family and everyone in my life. I've come clean to alot of my friends and family about my lying and i'm trying to do the same to all others involved it just takes time to get everything done. If anyone has any advise that would be amazing i think that in time i will become a better person. Things like this don't happen instantly but it really hard to sit back and watch my own wife not trust me because of my mistakes. I hope in time i can build that trust back up it just seems like a very steep mountain at this point in time.... But i'll keep trying and i would love some advise if anyone's got any.



Thanks,


A changed Man

Hi, Jtilman84! You're brave for telling your family about everything. You did the right thing and you want to change, that is what matters.
Maybe your wife would feel better if you made her feel included in your healing process. Could you take her to a meeting or see if there is a special program for partners of people who have your problem? You could try to confide in her, if you feel like she'd be open to listening and even tell her that you need her support and trust to get through this.