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It hurts to admit it

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It hurts to admit it

Postby Twistedknowledge » Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:57 am

I'm new here, and for my first impression being that i'm telling you i'm a compulisive liar i'm more neverous than i would be. It hurts to admit i'm a compulsive liar. I swear i don't mean too. I can't talk to anyone about it, cause i don't when them thinking i'm an awful person. But i've put myself in this situation i chose to tell those lies. But i just can't stop. It's been going on for years now. It's come to light now in my head that i'm a lying little <Insert bad word here> I swear i don't mean to, they just come out. It makes me feel bad, everytime it makes me feel friggin bad but yet i go and lie again! I'm a self harmer, i'm also petrified of this world. I see this world as an evil place where i don't really belong. I self harm cause of many things, one of them being that i lie so often it just adds to my hatred towards myself. Buty it seems no matter what i can't stop lying. I'm merely and existance with no substance in this world. I'm just a walking idea of nothingness.

HELP! I'm feeling so helpless right now.
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Postby Chucky » Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:38 pm

Hey,

Maybe your lies help you get through life that little it easier than usual. I mean, you said that you are "petrified" of this world. When some is living in petrification, they typically assume a path that allows them to best cope with it. In my case, I binge-eat; but other people self-harm, compulsively lie, or drink alcohol / abuse drugs. It's a problem and you've done well to admit it here. Maybe now is the time to think about seeing a doctor about it.

Kevin
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Postby AnewMe77 » Thu Aug 21, 2008 12:53 am

Twistedknowledge,
Please know that you are not alone in this world and that you are not the only one who is going through the same/similar situation. I'm not sure if it helps but I am new here as well. In fact I just posted my very first post this week. I can really identify with what you wrote, I too have self-harmed before. I am a recovering cutter it will be 2 years in March since I have cut, and honestly I have to take that one day at a time. But that in it's self is another story.

It is hard to talk to others because i'm sure you are worried about their perception of you, as well as if they would then trust anything you will later say. I always worry I'll become that the person who cried 'wolf' one too many times. Hang in there post often, no one is here to judge you, in fact much the opposite I think we are all here for much the same reason. To help one another through another day.

I don't think anyone can truly understanding how hard it is to tell a simple truth/fact and relay that to someone. Many times I myself do not mean to lie-as bad as it sounds I tend to just blurt it out and regret it later, or I can do an more calculated lie to get myself out of a situation or make myself look better. And of course regret that later as well. It is not as easy as simple flipping a switch, but I think you are on the right path by admitting it to yourself here.

That is truly the first step because after all it is much easier to fool the world, much hard to fool ourselves. Sorry this is so long I just wanted to post so that you would know that you are not alone out there, there are others going through the struggle and if you ever need to talk please post to me and I would be more than happy to. (Not sure how that is done here though)
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Postby Chucky » Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:22 pm

Jackie,

I'm not sure if the original poster has ever checked-back here, because their post was made in July and it was the only post that they ever made on this website. Still, let's hope that he/she is doing great at the moment. Anyway, compulsive lying - in my opinion - can be treated in much the same way as other compulsions are treated, including such unrelated things as binge eating. It is all about recognising the compulsion is upon you, grabbing it, and then taking control of it.

Kevin
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Postby MelonBall » Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:42 pm

Twisted,

i can relate. I lie as well as having Borderline PD and cutting. its a self-hate thing.

i'd get into a state of dysphoria ( bad mood episode) over a stress in my life, and lie to get myself out of it, or even as another form of hurting myself. Then i cut.
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