I'm finally admitting my problem!

I have been a compulsive liar for nearly my entire life. It started when I was younger as a way to get out of being in trouble, then it moved on to looking cooler at school, eventually it became habitual. I am 30 years old now and I just ruined a relationship with an amazing, and beautiful girl due to my lying. She had caught me in lies before and I promised I would stop. At the time I meant it, it wasn't a lie at the time. I wanted to stop, but my addiction was too strong. I've known about my problem for a long time, but I never truly understood it as a disease until now. I am currently seeking help. I can only hope that she will listen to me and understand that this isn't something I can just turn off in a day. I ruined her life more than I ever ruined mine. She basically gave up her life to live with me and all I could do in return was betray her. I feel so worthless. I don't think I could ever make it up to her. Just before joining this site I admitted my problems to my only remaining friend and my parents. I have been reading up on compulsive lying and it seems someone has to hit rock bottom before they're truly ready to change, and I've hit those rocks. I just wish it didn't cost me the love of greatest person I've ever met to realize it.

Welcome. I read your post and thought, hey-thats me.
My lying has put me in the same place you are, rock bottom, and I hit hard, now its time to climb out.
The love of my life is on the verge of leaving me, I'm working to change and get healthy and happy for myself my wife and kids.

hello i do understand completely how you must be feeling
it starts off with wanting privacy (as a kid in a crazily noisy and intrusive environment) then to hide parts of you that are shameful, then to gain acceptance, then to look cool and then eventually one starts to lie about every single thing even though it is so easy to find out
like when you lie about which schools you have attended etc

the thing is NO ONE CARES - the stuff habitual liars lie about here and there like where they went to on holiday, what they have just eaten
u realize for normal people, it just does not pop up on the radar to even ask
habitual liars live very unreal and anxious lives because they need to do so much recalling

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER this, it is not your prerogative to FORCE the truth on someone because kindness is more important than truth
they likely know you are prone to lie (because no one is THAT good at lying) and they choose to close one eye to it probably because they want to see you as a friend and they love other things about you
APPRECIATE that and get a weekly counsellor
REMEMBER you will hurt them again if you confess so the good thing to do is to simply shut up when u feel like lying

Look in the mirror and tell yourself 'i love myself too much to hurt myself with more lies'
trust me, with time, the guilt u feel will leave u and u will be able to tell the truth more and more often

we are here for you!