Admitting being a compulsive liar and losing my boyfriend

I was always honest with my boyfriend I didn't know why. But I lied to everyone else, in stupid little things that I didn't need to, nothing really severe.
I had broken up with a guy and then my ex boyfriend came to the scene. I didn't want him around, I wanted to be alone, but he just convinced me for over one year he wanted to be with me.

But I wasn't quite fine, I have some other problems like bpd.
But he convinced me but I loved him in the wrong way, I cheated on him but after everytime I cheated I told him everything to the point he didn't wanna know anymore.
Since April this year, we started fighting over everything I was so irritable. I started "falling in love" with him and didn't wanna stop.
We forgived each other a lot, because he loved me and I loved him too.
He wanted me to be his girlfriend in July, so I agreed. It was fine,no fights, well, it lasted two weeks.

We fought until September 7th, 2 years of being together, he told me he needed space and didn't love me anymore.
I couldn't believe it and wouldn't leave him alone. So we tried being friends, but we ended up having sex and kissing and cuddling.
I started to need him, I knew I could change and didn't fight anymore 'cause I realized then that I loved him.
I was desperate, and told him via cellphone I may have cancer. He cried but I told him I had to do more studies for confirming it.
I've always had trouble with my lymphts so I used that as an excuse.
So the last week before breaking up, I told him I had 70% of having cancer.
He cried a lot that day.
So we broke up on tuesday but a day before we made love and told me he wanted to stay, to be with me. That he has made up his mind.
The other day he broke up with me, his mom had to told me. And he send me a facebook message saying he couldn't handle it anymore. Wished me luck and that he was sorry for not being forever with me.

Four days later I saw him at a party and hugged and acorded to talk in two moths.
Three weeks after I saw him in other party, he treated me so bad and told me he hated me and now he feels the same being with other girls, that he was so hurt for faking cancer.
The pushed me and threw me to the ground.
That was it, the person who loved me so so sincerely did that.
I was done. I couldn't believe I told that.

I decided to send him a message via facebook the other day comming clean.
And I blocked him after that. And he might hate me or said that because he was drunk and drugged.
But it was fair he heard all the truth.
I decided to tell to my psychologist,and now I'm working on it. I decided I wanted to recover and didn't tell a lie since then.
It was just a week a go but I'm making progress.
Do you think if I talk to him in a year me and my ex boyfriend could talk?

Maybe. I don't think there's any other answer to that question. It's going to depend very much on what you both do during that year. Whether you're able to tackle the lying. And be comfortable being honest with most people most of the time. And whether he is able to forgive you. And to see past the arguments and stress. To the underlying friendship the two of you had.

It seems like hard work for both of you. But a year is a realistic amount of time to do it in. I don't think it could be much less. You have made a good start though. A week might not seem like much. But in terms of changing habits it's still a success. Good luck to you.

Thank you! I'm trying to forgive myself first and work on it. I just want to be in peace with myself.
Of course I miss him, but I know he has the right to hate me now. I just hope he can forgive me with time, I really miss him because he was like my best friend.
A year will be okay I think, it depends on how much progress I've made.
I just want him to forgive me, I know it's hard anyway.