I need help.. New to this forum.

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum and decided to join this because I am in deep despair and it is ######6 eating me up alive..

The problem is I used to be a pathological liar, I would lie about the most pointless things and would not think before I spoke.. I became addicted to being the victim, gaining sympathy, manipulating situations to benefit m myself and sadly I did not think of the consequences. Also I didn't realize I was disrespecting people and myself by telling these lies.

Anyway I have gotten over this, I make sure I think before I speak and not run my mouth pointlessly. But I am in a huge bind.. I lied to my girlfriend of 4 years about having a twin that died when I was born.. I made up this lie and other little stupid lies at the starting of our relationship not knowing I would fall in love with her and not knowing she would become everything to me.

I have become truly honest with her about everything that comes up now more so than a lot of people I know, but I know if I tell her about the whole twin #######4 she will probably leave me.. And if that happened I would honestly have nothing in this world.

No answers?

I'm sorry no one is responding since you are in a tough spot and hurting.
There don't seem to be many people involved in this part of the forum.

Since telling the truth is not my weak area, I wont give you a lot of advice....
Just want you to know I'm sorry for your difficult childhood and acknowledge
the painful struggle you're having over coming clean with someone
you are afraid you'll lose if you tell her.

Hope someone who knows more about pathological lying responds to you soon.

All the best.

Sorry for not responding sooner, just got back from vacation.
You seem to have a good grip on your situation, you also seem to know you were wrong and want to fix the problem. Both are good signs. Unfortunately there are consequences to our past actions.
There are two ways to deal with this, one is to slowly tell her bits of things until you're ready to come clean but this in itself is lying by omission as you are tilting the conversation in your favor by just telling her what you want.
The other is to just come clean and deal with the fallout. Neither will be fun and either way her trust in you may take damage.
You may be surprised though, she may understand and decide to help you through this. Not telling her is not an option as that is also lying.

Hi L0stS0ul,

I'm new here, too. I have done exactly the same mistake as you, telling my partner that I had an older brother who died in a car accident. Thinking back there is nothing I regret more than telling this lie. Same as you I didn't believe the relationship would get serious.

I haven't figure out yet how to tell him that it was a lie, but I know to come clear with ourselves we must do it. Even if this means the other person loses trust and maybe even decides to leave.
It will be painful for the person that loves you to hear that you have lied to her for so long.

What you said that, if you would leave her you had nothing in this world? Well, at least you would be free from guilt and shame! This is what I tell myself, first I have to stop telling new lies and then I will talk to my partner. If he decides to leave - I have a whole new chance of building a sincere and honest life around me. And if he decides to stay with me and help me - even better! But at least the weight you carry on your shoulders is gone... That outweights everything else for me!

Good luck for everything