I need help..

Just today, i found out I'm a compulsive liar. (Im younger than 20). I lie about small things but the most disturbing thing i've been lying about was having myself a boyfriend, and lying to my bestfriend about people who don't exist at all. Most of the time i don't even think about what im saying and i feel like i have so many egos. This all started back in 7th grade and i don't know what to do anymore. I feel suicidal and a freak and i dont belong here. I also feel like if i continue nothing good will happen. I just want to tell everyone im sorry and leave out the state but im most afraid of not being forgiven and not having the same friendships. These people who I've lied to are amazing good people and i just dont know why i caught myself earlier, if i did i wouldnt be here asking for help.

Please help...Is it possible to still have the same friendships i have with these people or is it better just to tell the truth let go of them and start a new "me" and fix this addiction?

Hi ArtLover567,
I hear your desperation and know what a challenging position you are in but there are no quick fixes with lying addiction as there isn't with any addiction.

Lying addicts lie for many reasons but a great deal of the time they lie because they have no voice of their own and be and become what everybody wants and needs them to be. In the end they become human pretzels people pleasing everyone meanwhile who they are just disappears.

There is no quick answer to what you can do in this situation. All as anyone can say really is that unless and until a lying addict has had enough of living in the misery of their addiction, there is nothing that can be done. They have to be desperate for full recovery for anything to stick. Even if you was to come clean to all your friends and leave them all behind and do a "geographical" as the recovery movement calls it, you would still be taking an untreated addiction with you and start all over again with the same behaviors in the next place.

ArtLover, keep on walking through the consequences of your addiction and at some point you will truly have had enough and sincerely reach out for the help you need and want. You will know when you have truly had enough. Until you are at that stage, just do your best to be as kind to yourself as you can be.

Big hug,
Billi Caine