I Live w/a compulsive liar-please help!!!!!

Please Help!!!!Any Suggestions are Appreciated!!!

I have lived with my boyfriend for the last couple of years. I love him very much but it has been extremely hard for the past year because I am so angry with him. He lies to me everyday and won’t admit to any of them. I have a daughter and I am afraid of her becoming like him, I am afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions, because I know what he will say is most likely untrue. Most of the time I feel like I am going crazy because I second guess things that I already know are true. I am scared and unsure of everything with him. I have become the sneaky one, the detective that is always searching for the truth. I don’t know if he recognizes there is a problem. I am not the only one in his life dealing with this so are his friends that I know of. Please help me-I do not know what to do! I don’t know if leaving or trying to help is the best solution. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank You!!!

Hi dj123, I have a story to tell you, dont know whether it will help you or not. I was with my Husband for a total of 13 years, we have 2 children, I have posted here before about my story. My husband was and still is a compulsive liar. The only thing different now is that my divorce comes through on 22nd April 06. I am so relieved to be away from him. He also lied about everything and lied about his lies. He made me feel like I was going crazy, doubting everything and then doubting myself, deep down I knew what was going on. I couldnt understand why this man did this to me. He would say he loved me and the kids more then anything and would do anything for us..... except stop lying. He drove me from loving him to hating and despising him. In the end I couldnt stand being near him, He would promise so many times (when he was caught out-with undeniable proof only) that he would change. I was so stupid back then, I believed and wanted to believe he could change. I was living an extremely unhappy life, so were the kids (they are nearly 9 and 10) . How could this man treat me like this, all I ever did was love and care for him. He stripped me from my self confidence and self worth. I am slowly regaining these things. To cut a long 13 year story as short as possible, he drove me to hate him (I know its a strong word). He lost everything important to him, his wife, his children (they know he lies-there've experienced it to-he has lied to them also). His house (I bought him out of the house) he has even lost some friends. The thing is he still hasnt changed. He comes over "my" house to visit the children (at this stage they dont want to go anywhere with him) I also have full custody. He sits there and when he talks to me, I pick up on the lying. I think I am an expert at reading him now. I still get very angry sometimes because my life or the kids lives didnt have to be this way. I some times feel he has ruined my life, I am although a lot happier now. I would never ever go back to him-not in a million years as I know this man has not changed and unfortunatly he cant change. I dont know what else could happen to him to make him change. I never got married to get "divorced" My parents are still married and so were his-his father passed away last year. I thought we had good role models to follow on. Unfortunately he cant change and I know in my heart the decision I made was the right one, The relief I felt when we split up was massive, A huge weight was lifted of my shoulders. I dont know what the answer is for you, but from my own personel experience I dont know if these compulsive liars can change. The decision of course is yours but it may take a few more years for you to make yours, I dont think you are at the stage I was yet. One thing though, my children have learnt some important life lessons (even though they are young) they have learnt what damage lying can cause. They have learnt how to treat people with respect and how not to treat people. In fact they are so anti-lying its great. I have such an open relationship with my children, we talk about everything. I dont know if I will ever really be able to trust anyone again, this is what damage these people do to others. I tend to be a bit sceptical of people and what they say now and I tend to annaylise everything. And I reckon when I talk to people i'm pretty good at sussing people out.. Anyway I hope it has helped some. By the way you will tend to see that people who post here who are the "victoms" of compulsive liars dont tend to get many responses. Goodluck Joz