recovered, but am I still ill?

Hello

So I was in hospital twice last year, a one month admission then a 2 month admission under section. Was a pretttty crappy year !

Turns out being given a bpd diagnosis as an adolescent in the uk mental health system is pretty difficult because they don't seem to understand it!! So I went to south africa after I was off section, and stayed in this amazing clinic/rehab where it was constant group therapy doing DBT everyday and was just so helpful! we weren't even allowed to use diagnoses , just had to talk in feelings rather than clinical terms! Anyway 2 months there did me so much good!

Now living in south africa because i needed a huge change. I haven't self harmed in 10 months!! Have art therapy once every 2 weeks which is pretty much just to chat!!

anyway, I have been on my current meds (sertraline + lamotrigine) for about a year now, well the sertraline for about 18 months. I don't ever see my psych, i just have a repeat prescription that I go and pick up after 6 months. I am coping so well. I am basically a brand new person, because before things got difficult 5 years ago i was only 13 so i'm obviously different!

My thought processes are healthy, I can deal with pretty much any situation that has been thrown at me and I am functioning perfectly! No way in hell would I now qualify for a bpd diagnosis so I consider my self pretty much recovered! However, am I still ill, or whatever you want to call it, if I am on meds?

I am keen to try come off of them, so I will need to see my psych and discuss.

If I miss a day or 2 of my meds I can start to feel very strange and get the whole impulsive destructive vibe... But that is probably just be chemical withdrawal or whatever.

So what I am wondering is, if you are functioning well (and have been for a good 6 months) but still on meds, are you recovered or still ill?

I've always heard that BPD isn't something you can ever say you've been cured of. It can go dormant for years, and you can be coping and living like a "normal" person for years and years - but there's always a chance that it will come back. Or maybe it won't.

It's good to hear you've been doing so much better, though! I'm not a big fan of meds, but if they're helping you so well and you notice those symptoms when you stop taking them, maybe you should stay on them for a little longer? Discuss it with your psych, though, obviously. I'm by no means a professional.

Recovery is however you define it. No one can tell you what it means to be recovered. It's different for everyone. I think that Recovery also means relapse. For me, Recovery includes being on medication. For some people it might mean being completely free of the mental health system all together. Think about what recovery means to you. People CAN and DO recover from BPD. It's just how they define recovery.