My cheating bf is throwing me out. Now homeless *TW*

I've had bps for as long as I can remember but it got a lot worse after finding out 3 years ago that I was sexually abused. I read up on all kinds of mental illnesses to try and find out what was wrong with me and realised it was bpd. Finally the nhs listened and diagnosed me officially with bpd. I then found out last year that my bf had been cheating on me with a work college and through cyber sex in all different ways with hundreds of people. I mean the list is so long in the ways he's cheated I could fill a book with it. It's made everything so much more difficult to deal with knowing he was there for his college who is bipolar and would tell me that I couldn't speak to him about what I was going through. I told him to leave the house but we've tried for the last year or so to get our relationship back on track. Social services got involved and my daughter went to live at my sisters because I was too ill.
This summer he got a new job and moved to anoter town. It was supposed to be a new start but then I found another profile to meet up with strangers for sex. It's brought me right back down and I'm not coping at all. Everytime he's caught he's angry at me and has now told me to get out. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared and hurt. I'm going to loose everything again and worst of all probably my daughter too

TW added by MOD due to sensitive content

First of all, whose name is under the house. If it is yours, then he CANNOT kick you out by law. Now if it's his, he CANNOT kick you out without warning. He is, depending on where you live, supposed to give you a minimum of 2 weeks to get a new place and get your things out.

Now, if you think it is possible, talk to your sister and explain the situation. Maybe she can let you stay at her place until you get your feet back on firm ground. And a bonus is that you do get to see your daughter and be part of her life.

I honestly would drop the guy. He sounds like a total c*nt muffin. If anything, HE'S doing YOU a favor by getting the hell out of your life. You don NOT deserve to be treated so harshly by him. He was the one that ###$ up the relationship by cheating. You tried to tell him not to, caught him many times, it's not worth it. he is not worth your tears. Very few people in the world are worth crying over. And this guy isn't one of them.

In the event that you cannot find a place, there are shelters for women-only, men-only, and co-ed. And they offer many programs to help people get off the streets, find a stable job, and in the event that the consumer has any kind of illness (emotional, personality, physical health, whatever; in your case BPD), they can actually help you find help for it.

Honestly, I think he just helped you get into a better position in life. Don't think of it as him abandoning/leaving you. Think of it as you dropping dead weight. I know that it's going to hurt (I've had some serious ass-hats leave me as well), and after the tears, and I was done, I realized that they were not worth my time anymore. They don't deserve to have me, and I deserve better. It's a long process, and we're here for you if you need support.

(Haha, shoot, yesterday I was super bummed out, and now I feel like I'm fabulous)

Thanks for replying I feel so alone. The house is in his name. It's all a bit complicated. I still have a flat 2 hours away from here. Half my stuffs there and half here. My sister has multiple sclerosis and has had a relapse and should have the least stress as possible so my daughter came back to live with me but only under the circumstances that my bf is here too and I'm not trying to cope alone in the house. I can't go back to the old flat because it triggers so much I get very ill when I'm there. It's all in a transition phase and now this happens. I've been blocking it all out as much as I can with temazepam and codeine but they've run out now. I don't know if I should readmit myself to hospital because I'm scared of the way I'm feeling. But then my daughter will be in care. Sorry I don't know why I'm writing because there are no answers. I'm just so lost hurt and hate my lige

See if you have any friends or other family members that can help you remove anything that may trigger you from the flat? Or is it just the location or memories of that place that triggers you? I can sort of understand because I actually will get a little triggery when I'm in a green truck. Not because I am scared of green trucks, it's just that my mind has connected with part of my rapes and abuse to associate it with green trucks (my abuser had a green truck and would often take me to an isolated place to do crap to me). One of the ways that I have found is that to over come these kinds of triggers is to actually put yourself in the middle of the trigger. It can be VERY exhausting, but it does help in the long run. I can NOW actually get inside my grandfather's green truck (he is unaware of this trigger) and a good amount of times I won't get triggered. I still will get a trigger, but it's much more controlled than before. I could go in that truck maybe 1o-2o times and only get triggered like 5 times.

If you want to be able to keep your sister, maybe you can see if you can find a person you trust with your daughter (a close friend) to stay with you.

Oh, are you, by any chance taking therapy or seeing a psychologist?

It's the house the street the town everything about it that are triggers. I hate it there. It's a damp cold flat that's very depressing even if your of sound mind. The only family I have is my sister and she's too ill to cope with anything so I can't even talk to her. I've cut myself off from everyone over the last 9 years so have not one friend and most of them before were just friends I took drugs with. I was going to dbt but had to stop because they don't have that service here. I'm not even registered with a gp here because I'm officially supposed to be in the old flat. It's all very complicated emotionally and legally. I can feel myself sinking way back down and just don't want to keep struggling to live anymore. It's the only answer I can see but I don't want to destroy my sister or natashas life by taking my own. When the psychosis sets in though I know I'll be so gone in my mind that I won't care anymore. I'm so lost.

See if you can go to a government facility and see if you can get help there. And explain your situation. Honestly, the guy you were with sounds like he was emotionally abusing you, through cheating and sleeping around with other women. And he was aware of how you were mentally.

Yeah I think you might be right. The problem is actually getting the courage to get out the house and then go and talk to someone but I have to pick my daughter up from school soon so maybe I'll try going to the medical centre while I'm out. Thanks for taking the time to read and reply. It helps to know that there are people out there that can understand somewhat and who van see what he's done has caused so much pain

I'd say just return to that flat of yours.
Very sensitive topic of course, but I guess the only way to get unstuck is to think about it long term; would you be doing better with him long term or worse? (rhetorical) We know he's a cheater already and these people never change. Trust me, the ex I just broke up with a couple weeks ago who also has BPD had done a lot worse (my opinion). It's just not worth it.

For your mental well-being, I believe it's the best choice, and while it may be tough... You may find someone faithful and trustworthy at a later time.

Don't always judge a book by its cover, there is a lot more to the story above than my ex has written. I'm not here to blame her or put her in a bad light. I've made mistakes and admitted them, however I have stood by her through many many difficult situations where almost everybody would have walked away. I however do not have to sit here and by bad mouthed by people that do not know what is going on and happening. I also don't see how advice like that can help her... But carry on, I won't post again... Just think before you post, things aren't always as they seem.

Opal, please get help.. If not for your self do it for your daughter. I love you both very much. Sorry that I hurt you

Opal's ex bf wrote:Don't always judge a book by its cover, there is a lot more to the story above than my ex has written. I'm not here to blame her or put her in a bad light. I've made mistakes and admitted them, however I have stood by her through many many difficult situations where almost everybody would have walked away. I however do not have to sit here and by bad mouthed by people that do not know what is going on and happening. I also don't see how advice like that can help her... But carry on, I won't post again... Just think before you post, things aren't always as they seem.

Opal, please get help.. If not for your self do it for your daughter. I love you both very much. Sorry that I hurt you

Clearly everyone knows that there are 2 sides of the story and then there is the truth.

You coming here to post seems futile and bad taste. You are intruding on her being able to discuss her issues and it's not like character assassination has been made as no one here knows you.