i want you to want me

i need you to need me...

you know, cheap trick had it right. why is it that what we crave the most is what we get the least of? is it because we never had it? to begin with? so therefore we are so afraid of having it because it is destined to go away? i SOOOO need to be needed right now.

Is wanted as good as needed? People don't need to be needy to want you...

a need is something you have to have, a want is something you would like to have. i want both.

I'm convinced that no matter if we got what we needed or wanted it still wouldn't be enough, and we'd still feel empty.

I'm going to answer this in a roundabout way. I've written several threads on accomplishments and in the end rather than having some sort of "good" emotion I'm left feeling nothing. It's made me think about this a lot, and the best that I can gather is it's because I lack a true sense of self or there is something missing that completes me and it's not tangible. So... these accomplishments while I realize them do not fill the void and in the end I'm left feeling nothing.

believe the same rationale would apply to people and relationships. whether you got what you wanted or needed or both my guess is in the end you'd still be left feeling unsatisfied and wanting something more, because it's an external gratification rather than coming from within.

I'm not sure how much sense this makes..... Maybe I'm going seriously crazy.. not sure

cboxpalace wrote:I'm convinced that no matter if we got what we needed or wanted it still wouldn't be enough, and we'd still feel empty.

So true.

I have most of everything I ever desired from when I was a child. It's not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. Everything that completes me only does so temporarily. The grass is always greener elsewhere than under my own feet. I never knew.

I wish I still didn't because I don't believe that there is a "fix". Only acceptance.

I always thought IF this, IF that, if, if, if. I would be happy.

How do you fill up an emptiness you can't even find.... And if we aren't capable of that how is it even remotely logical to think for even a moment that someone else can.

wineaux wrote:i need you to need me...

you know, cheap trick had it right. why is it that what we crave the most is what we get the least of? is it because we never had it? to begin with? so therefore we are so afraid of having it because it is destined to go away? i SOOOO need to be needed right now.

It doesnt have to go away.

But relationships involve 2 people.

They are give and take. To feel needed you have to show that you need things yourself from others.

reflection wrote:I have most of everything I ever desired from when I was a child. It's not enough.

You talking about physical stuff or emotional stuff?

I could have every physical thing I ever wanted and if I got nothing emotionally I would be empty.

I am not you, but I have read a lot of posts here.....people beating themselves up for being mean to their parents or siblings or friends. And yet they were being emotionally abused. It was clear to me, yet they felt they were in the wrong.

Sometimes we are in the wrong. No one is perfect. But sometimes we only think we are in the wrong and come to feel that everyone else is perfect and we arent.

Perfection is a trap. There is no such thing.

Lawdy,

A few quotes in here is soooooooooo me...

i SOOOO need to be needed right now

Yerp, if I am not loved I feel like I am sinking into an indefinite abyss.

The grass is always greener elsewhere than under my own feet

Sadly, that is most definitely me. I try sooo hard to fight it now given I am trying to change, alas, it's still there.

But relationships involve 2 people.

This is the part I suck at. I can openly admit that it is a one-way street in my past and present relationships.

Alas, Wine-O... I hear ya'alllllllllllllll...

Perfection is a trap. There is no such thing.

Ain't that the truth!

Want vs Need. That is another trap.

Satisfy your needs, reduce your wants and find peace and happiness in the moment. Some days it's easier than others. When in doubt...I hug puppies and enjoy the beauty of the day.

Oh my goodness!!!

I can't tell you how many times I have said those very words!... 'Why is it that what I need the MOST I seem to get the LEAST!' It's gut renching to feel that way isn't it?! And I can have a stab at the answer's such as... I push people away, then I pull them back, I'm not the easiest person in the world to understand and at time's I KNOW I come across as too needy, because I AM needy! It's to do with the whole 'abandonment' issue with BPD isn't it? I know EXACTLY how you feel. What we want MOST we seem to have the LEAST, I know a few of the 'factual' answer's to that question but inside of me... I just don't 'GET' it.

Can I ask, are you feeling that way it present and if so, has anything 'triggered' that feeling?