Wellness Check-ins?

So, I had a really bad day/week and went into my therapy office as a walk-in and I ended up having to talk to a crisis team. I'm apparently at a high risk for suicide and I had to beg and plead to get them to not send me to a hospital. I'm currently undiagnosed but the word BPD comes up enough in my file that people are extra concerned that I'm gonna kill myself. Something like 10% of borderlines end up killing themselves.

I'm not really afraid of the hospital but I know I'll get an anxiety attack the second I'm in a place where I can't just up and leave if I choose. Plus, no smoking at the hospital. I know they give you a nicotine patch, but if I can't smoke they will think I'm way crazier than I am because of the withdrawal. She asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and once she told me that I couldn't smoke I knew the answer was no. I do think the hospital setting would be nice given my current state, but not being able to smoke would really push me over the edge.


Anyway, after much pleading they agreed to not send me to the hospital on two conditions.

1) I see a psychiatrist this Thursday.

2) I call them or answer their calls once a day until Thursday to make sure I'm not dead or about to harm myself.

I'm okay with number 1. Honestly I had an appointment set but it takes forever to get in to see the doctors so I wasn't going in until October. I'm really excited to get my official BPD assessment by a doctor and hopefully get a formal diagnoses and be able to go to DBT. But I having to call them every day just seems like a huge pain. I get it's purpose but having to call them every day is just an annoyance. I was told that I could even call and just say "Hi, I'm not going to die today bye." It's just a weird process to me I guess.


Anyone else have similar experiences?

Yes definitly had similar experiences, i even had to put up with home visits once a day for nearly 2 weeks.
Dont let it plague your mind too much, its really not worth it. Just tell them what you have to each day and hey some days you may even feel like engaging in conversation just see how it plays out. Either way its better than being admitted right!!!
Really good to hear you have an up-comming assessment, a huge step in itself

Hang in there,
M

You are the one in control of the situation.

You have 2 choices

1) call them every day and stay out of the hospital
2) dont call them and go in

What do YOU want?

They told you the rules ahead of time. If you didnt think calling everyday was FAIR, then the time to say something was before you agreed to it. That was the time when perhaps something else could have been negotiated with respect to the conditions.

Some things for you to consider:
Is calling once a day MORE inconvenient then not smoking every day in the hospital??

Is calling everyday and having 23 hours and 55 mins of free time in which to do anything you want more of an inconvenience then having 24 hrs a day of lock up?

Is calling everyday more of an inconvenience then having them send out the police/whoever to come and get you?

Thanks supressed. I'm glad that I'm not in that position, I had to beg them to not call relatives if I didn't answer the phone. I'll try not to let it plague my mind, it's just one more annoying thing I have to do during the day I guess; much better than a hospital. Or so I would presume, I've never actually been to one for a mental health issue. I'm really glad I'm getting assessed, it is a huge huge step. That's the one good thing to come out of this is that they bumped my appointment to next week instead of the second week of October.

hey chained...

sorry about your rough patch! we're totally here for you if you need a shoulder to vent on. i haven't experienced what you're going through on the hospitalized end of things, but many here have and i hope some more come on and share their experiences with you.

p.s. if i had to be somewhere withOUT my vice(s)...i'd absolutely vehemently deny having any part of it. period. icanbearaginghoneybadger.

ThisEndUp wrote:You are the one in control of the situation.

You have 2 choices

1) call them every day and stay out of the hospital
2) dont call them and go in

What do YOU want?

They told you the rules ahead of time. If you didnt think calling everyday was FAIR, then the time to say something was before you agreed to it. That was the time when perhaps something else could have been negotiated with respect to the conditions.

Some things for you to consider:
Is calling once a day MORE inconvenient then not smoking every day in the hospital??

Is calling everyday and having 23 hours and 55 mins of free time in which to do anything you want more of an inconvenience then having 24 hrs a day of lock up?

Is calling everyday more of an inconvenience then having them send out the police/whoever to come and get you?

ThisEndUp-

While I can completely appreciate your brutal honesty, not all members are coming to the forum for such a stark and direct answer such as the above. Please treat others with the kindness that you would like to be treated with, or we can move onto discussing ModPreview.


If there are any questions, please feel free to contact me via PM. My inbox is always open.


<3

AMP

MissAli wrote: Please treat others with the kindness that you would like to be treated

That is how I would want to be treated.

I recognize the truth can seem painful. But ultimately it is empowering for me.

I am honest in saying this about myself. I can do something with the truth in my life. I can see my choices and how they effect me. I can see the power I have over my own life.

So yes.....its hard for me to imagine not wanting it and welcoming it.

I see a lot of lies here on the boards. The worst ones being what people believe about themselves.

Have heard folks here say that they are evil, undeserving, hopeless, and helpless.

So I guess its hard for me to really get my head around someone telling me its wrong to tell people or show them that none of that is true.

That is how I would want to be treated.

that may be, but it might not work for everyone else

I recognize the truth can seem painful. But ultimately it is empowering for me.

the truth is not always plain to see...

So yes.....its hard for me to imagine not wanting it and welcoming it.

some of us don't have a welcome mat at our door

I see a lot of lies here on the boards. The worst ones being what people believe about themselves. Have heard folks here say that they are evil, undeserving, hopeless, and helpless.

these are not lies, they are truly how we feel inside. to call them lies is very invalidating.

So I guess its hard for me to really get my head around someone telling me its wrong to tell people or show them that none of that is true.

i think it's amazing that you want to help!! you just might want to make your approach a bit less forthright. we are known to be a sensitive bunch