bpd attention/loneliness *possible trigger*

hi i'm 24 years old, and have a diagnosis of bpd, bipolar 1, adhd, panic disorder, ocd, and major depression. i'm in a dbt program and have been seeming to have sucess with it, but lately am having terrible issues with my jealousy/lonely feelings in my marriage and have been attacking verbally left and right for every little mistake. i don't know how to make it stop or make things right in my head, though i know that my husband's done nothing wrong and what i'm doing is destroying my marriage.....i just feel like i'm hitting rock bottom again and hard and i don't know how to stop....any advice would be helpful, i'm trying to talk to my therapist about this but progress is slow as i've tried to block things out in my mind that are traumatic.

Im guessing you have covered mindfullness is DBT? Sounds like you have a lot going on for yourself right now. Give yourself sometime to stop and just take one thing in the moment. Its so easy to overwhelm ourselves with several different situations which bring many emotions and leave us feeling depressed and helpless.
I find writting helps, put things on paper, get them out of your head etc.

Hang in there!
M

Instead of attacking try "I" statements to tell him how you feel about them for example:

"When you're out late at night and I don't know where you are, I feel lonely/anxious/afraid"

I always feel really awkward and dumb using I statements to that in itself makes me slow down just to get the sentence out. But after I've used the statement it gives more time for a reply and more of a conversation to happen rather than just an argument.

Also, use your mindfulness skills to take a look inward, note the physical feelings of anger (Observe) just as they are about to happen or right before they do, Tell your husband that you're feeling really upset right now (Describe) and ask for a break in the conversation. (Vacation from Distress Tolerance) You can come back to it later when you've calmed down.

I also hate this one, but it works sometimes if you can remain calm. Sometimes you have to say the most effective thing. (this is the effectiveness skill) So using my example above of the husband staying out late at night with some friends, you could say, "I'm glad you're home even if it is late. I know how important it is for you to spend time with your friends."
You don't have to believe it, but that might be the most effective thing to say at the moment so that you don't get into an argument. Then you take care of yourself and your own anger using your distress tolerance skills.

There's a few examples of how to use DBT to avoid getting into arguments with your husband. Hopefully they help.