Does anyone else here feel like a bad person?

Hi to all...

Is it common for people with BPD to feel like a bad person? When I'm in a bad place I pretty much always find myself thinking that I must be a bad person to get so consumed by my own emotions and become so submursed in my own feelings that at times I feel almost paralised by them. In fact, I've literally convinced myself that I actually AM a bad person and at really low times have even thought things like I am a 'bad egg' and should'nt have been born. Does anyone else get this way when times are rough?

I would be so grateful for your responses... Is this a 'normal' BPD thing?

PS I aren't looking for sympathy and aren't feeling that way right now but for me, it' something that comes up again and again when I'm 'struggling'.

HI,

Sounds very familiar to me!!!
You are certainly not alone there!!

Thanks for your response... On one hand, I know I have a good heart and have never actually ever done anything really bad other than unintentionally 'put onto' other's when I'm feeling in a right mess and don't know how to deal with it or where to turn.

Also, do you have any advice about how to deal with these horrible feelings when they come up?

Definitly!
I convinced myself i was a bad person in everyway possible, thus leading to pushing everyone out of my life. I dont talk to anyone other than mental health anymore, i just feel like such a burden to everyone so its easier not to have contact.
They say positive self talk/validation helps, easier said than done when you've spent years learning other self destructive behaviours right?!

I always feel like I'm an awful person and deserve all the crap I get,and don't deserve the love but truth be told I cant name a single particularly bad thing I've done. People tell me I'm one of the nicest people they know.

It's a horrible thing isn't it and I too have done the usual push people away and totally isolate myself at times so I can't burden people anymore which is usually followed by a deep feeling or abandonment and desperate attemts to pull people close again. Also, ironically, I've also been told that I'm a lovely and kind person kind person. Just such a shame I can't believe it and I honestly don't think I ever will.

Just such a shame I can't believe it and I honestly don't think I ever will.

I feel exactly the same way but at some point we have to start thinking logically. Our pasts have pretty much guided our behaviours, thoughts and feelings...made us the people we are today. So on the flip side with some hard work in therapy you can turn these thoughts around, use positive coping techniques and essentially begin to work towards a life worth living!

Without wanting to sound negative, it would appear that in my local area there isn't any support/ therapy that specialises in BPD. Although I realise there are other ways to help myself with this particular issue. I tend to read a lot of self help type books, I'm on a list for counselling and I try to fight the negative thinking patterns myself. But my god it's hard isn't it!

Is there anything you find particularly helpful? I know why I am how I am and due to life event's it all makes sense but how to change a lifetime's worth of self doubts and believing I'm a rotten egg is so deep seeded in me. I know I would be a much happier person if I could to love and believe in myself a bit more.

Hi Me,

I am in UK too...and in a very similar position to you by the sounds of it!
So at least you now know you are not in any way, shape or form, alone.
Since finding this site a few days ago, I have found that fact has helped...at least a little?
Hopefully you will too

All the best to you

Thank you Dan.
It does seem to be the case that support is nowhere near as freely available in the UK which is soooo pants! I have gotten in touch with an Advocacy agency who are going to help me 'fight my corner' so to speak but even they have said that DBT isn't at all available in my area and I certainly can't afford to go private at the moment.
I only found this site recently too and have to say I've already found it a massive help to be able to talk to people who actually 'get' it. I know I'm going to find it a really useful tool.
Have you been offered support of any kind in your area?