I scare myself. (may have triggers, I'm not sure)

Hi. I've never posted before. been reading for a while. I'm not really sure what to say but I need advice, if you can share any.
I'm 24 and was diagnosed with BPD this year in Feb after a very bad episode of, well me being me...

I broke up with my gf of a year, even though no one knew we were dating(we're both girls, she's not out yet) But I was doing really good until about a month ago. I didnt have mad fits. I didnt cut myself or want to. I was almost happy! but then I started feeling depressed again.

I feel like my best friend is pulling away from me, I don't like her new girlfriend, who is also dating someone else and I know my friend will get hurt.
A lot of people have walked away from me lately.

I'm having a lot of mad fits. I throw things and hit walls. I'm drinking again and My ex has been texting me and I'm wanting to take her back... She was always there when I needed her, unlike everyone else.

I do this thing where I'm ok for a few months then I go back to this way again.
Does anyone else do this? be ok for a few months then go back to breaking everything when you get upset, I feel like when I'm in one of the episodes I'm not in my body, I cant feel anything & I can't think about what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do.

http://board.bpdrecovery.com/

I don't have fits of madness. After years of my partners BPD behaviors, I want to call it quits though.
If he actually worked some of the TOOLS on that board. It would be a good thing. But I no longer hope for any of that.