Is this my BPD or is this relationship not right for me?

Hi to everyone,

This is a tough one... I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and if I'm honest it's always been difficult to say the least. The thing is, I am unsure if it's me or the relationship that's 'wrong'. Does anyone else find this sort of thing difficult? I mean, on one hand I think I could be happier, and have been but on the other hand, I am terrified of loosing him. And on one hand I think it's me that's 'all wrong' but on the other hand I think it's him that's 'all wrong'
Any thought's will be appreciated.

Me... Today wrote:Hi to everyone,

This is a tough one... I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and if I'm honest it's always been difficult to say the least. The thing is, I am unsure if it's me or the relationship that's 'wrong'. Does anyone else find this sort of thing difficult? I mean, on one hand I think I could be happier, and have been but on the other hand, I am terrified of loosing him. And on one hand I think it's me that's 'all wrong' but on the other hand I think it's him that's 'all wrong'
Any thought's will be appreciated.

Hm... I think we need more details to help you out. What is it that makes you unhappy, or not as happy as you think you can be?

hi there...i'm with alexander in that i'd love to give you some advice, i just need a little more detail to help out! could you share with us some of your issues?

thanks hon

I'm in the same boat. And on top of that I have my boyfriend blaming all our relationship issues on the fact that i'm BPD/BP. It's hard to separate the two and determine if that's really the case or whether or not this just isn't the relationship for me. Hang in there, and share some of your story, there are lots of people willing to help it sounds like.

Yes, you need to share more of the story for us to understand.
I've never been in a romantic relationship, but I've had the same problems with my friendships and I agree it can be very hard to distinguish one from the other.

Thanks for your responses and I will post again shortly with a little more of the detail that my initial post was somewhat lacking! lol. I've had a lot on this week so haven't had a great deal of time to log on but needless to say, the same issues are still there and it really is so good to know that there are people on here who are willing to provide a listening ear and take an interest/ give advice etc! Seem's like there are some really great people on here!

Hi there I can relate to confusing relationships where bpd/bp and a partner is concerned. I've had bpd and bp for at least 18 years now and I'm 34. I've had true unhealthy relationships that seemed ok apart from they were ALL abussive and not on my part. I became a shell and distrusted everyone. Now I am in a healthy relationship I get times when I think I hate him and want him out of my home but have to keep asking myself why what has he done. I write it down and talk to him about it. A true Right relationship in my opinion not saying I'm right but it should be understanding and compromising on both sides and no blame about bpd/bp or any other illness or disability that anyone has that they are unable to help apart from violence should be supported. If violence is involved or alcohol then both should see a therapist to sort it and support the person with the problem. Hope this helps and makes sence.