I feel certain that I'm Borderline.

I'm a 23 year old male, getting that out of the first. I still think I have Borderline but finding a doctor who doesn't immediately shrug away the notion is proving difficult. The main question is how does someone in my situation go about getting diagnosed? I know that of all the disorders, the traits of Borderline fit me the best explains a lot.


I've never been to psychologist or psychiatrist since I was boy. Do I got to a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Is there anything I should ask for? I'm sure they have tests for these things. Do I just say "Hey, I know you went to college for 6+ years, but I know this is what's wrong with me."? What do I say when I schedule the appointment in regards to borderline? All I know is I need help and I' have to get it.

I've been doing a lot of reading and introspection. A 3-4 months ago I started getting anxiety attacks in relation to being abandoned or being left to wallow in loneliness. It's very, very terrifying for me. So I started doing research. I know a self-diagnosis means very little, but I fit all of the requirements. All except the self-mutilation/behavior/threats one. I used to cut myself from about 14-17. When people I loved and depended on discovered what I had been doing... they were so disappointed in me. I got so scared that I was going to be all alone that I just stopped.

I've heard that Borderline is very difficult to get diagnosed with, especially as a man but I've never been so sure of something before. Chronic emptiness, anxiety attacks over abandonment and loneliness. Impulsivity; for me it's meaningless sex when I'm sad and reckless spending. Black and white thinking, which until two months ago I assumed everyone had that pattern of thinking. I'll do anything to be in the company of a woman who loves me and friends that will entertain me, and I'll do anything to avoid being abandoned by these people.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms. This is what makes me feel crazy though. I don't dissociate from reality, but I do become increasingly paranoid especially after I feel abandoned. What are they doing with out me? Did that leave me out because they don't love me? The only thoughts that fill my head are the worst ones. My best friend must be having sex with my girlfriend, or trying to hurt me some other way. Maybe all of my friends got together and said they didn't like me anymore and that's why they left me out of the fun.

I have an unstable self image or sense of self. Mostly depending on whether or not I'm in a romantic relationship. If I'm in one, I'm in pure bliss and I'm the greatest man to walk this earth and my friends are lucky to know me. If I'm single, especially single for closer to a year; I'm worthless and no woman will ever see any value in me.

I have anger issues, I used to even be violent but I took anger management courses to learn how to manage my behavior. Mostly just outbursts that I've been holding back, or a dismissive snort.

I don't know. I suppose the latter half was sort of me just venting. I'm mostly concerned with how I should approach saying I think I'm Borderline to Psychiatrist. I feel like I should say something, because of this certainty I have but at the same time I don't want to come off as naive or just have them scoff at the idea of diagnosing Borderline; especially in a man.

Hey, Lynx; welcome to the nuthouse!

Well, if you are a guy who has BPD, you're not alone. There are a few of us here. We're definitely outnumbered, but we are here.

To answer your question about a psychologist or psychiatrist, you can go to either. They are both trained in diagnosing mental illnesses. The only difference is that a psychiatrist is also medically trained, which means he/she can prescribe medication as well. The psychologist would most likely send a note to your GP, who would then write you up the prescription for whatever the psychologist recommended. So it's entirely dealer's choice.

As to what to say, just say the truth. "I think I may have Borderline PD, and I want to get a professional opinion on it."

BPD is certainly more frequently diagnosed in women than in men, but there are two standing theories on this. First, guys are generally less likely to go see a psych to begin with; sign of weakness and all that junk. Secondly, guys tend to outburst in anger more than women, so there is a good chance that it is either mistaken for male testosterone, or over-aggressiveness. However, there is nothing that says women are genetically more likely to have BPD; they're just more likely to be diagnosed.

I certainly understand and sympathize with you on your feelings. Like most other Borderlines, I put almost my entire worth into what others think of me. I don't know how to get around that and start giving myself worth based on what I think of me, but I do know how you feel.

Trust me, the psych's won't scoff. Some of them are reluctant to diagnose people as having BPD, but they certainly won't scoff. If one does, he should have his license revoked.

I went to doc's and therapist for acouple years before, I never asked what i had. One day i finally asked, they just diagnosed my BP, when i have most traits to BPD, OCD's and several others. i was happy with what they did dignose me with. i have heard more females get BPD and BP, but hey the mind is the mind. Males can get breast cancer too. who would of guessed.

That's seems like the best way to word it Johnny, thanks. It was only 2-3 months ago that I started really sinking my teeth into personality disorders that could fit me; borderline was the only one that fit my personality perfectly. I've known since I was a child that I was messed up inside but it was never this bad. For about 3 months or so, every time I'm alone against my personal desire I freak out. It takes at least an hour to work my way out of it. Looking back with the Borderline knowledge that I have, I can see it in all of my romantic relationships, but it never inhibited my social life as badly as it is now.

My friends don't understand, they think that I'm just being a drama queen. Then again, I try my hardest to be in tip top shape when I'm physically in the room with them. They just get my whirlwind of angry text messages.


I definitely understand the feeling of your own worth being tied to what other people think. I try so hard to not disappoint. Then someone always has to say "No one will ever truly love you, until you can love yourself." and then I'm just in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

Even if the psychologist is reluctant to diagnose BPD, the criteria fits perfectly and I have at least 6-7 years of details. I just know this is what is wrong with me. Every single criteria resonates so perfectly with the problems I have.

I'm a guy too!! So there are some of us around here.. While we may be outnumbered by women, it is NOT a woman illness. Also, statistics on how many men have bpd aren't really reliable because men go undiagnosed for a variety of reasons.

My suggestions would be this.

1. Write down concrete examples of how bpd traits apply to your life. That way you can give your psychologist/psychiatrist specifics.

2. You can always ask where you can be tested.. ie MMPI-2 test.

3. Don't be afraid to come right out and ask your doctor if he thinks you have bpd.

4. You can always get a 2nd opinion..

Hope this helps some!
-cbox

I'm male too btw.

Like what cbox said, it's definitely important to get this properly evaluated. No point making yourself worry without a professional assessment IMO.

In the meantime, don't stress yourself out over this. Follow cbox's suggestions...so when you meet a psychiatrist/psychologist, you won't miss out anything and it will help them in their observations.

Lynx I bet it's frustrating for you to not only deal with having BPD but also finding it hard for your illness to be identified as a male. It's definitely not a woman's illness, but men may express their symptoms differently, and also I think one of the reasons men get diagnosed less frequently is because some of the symptoms of BPD may be considered more normal or acceptable in men, such as impulsivity, anger, aggressiveness, identity problems, etc.

But you know yourself and what your mental problems are, I'd say make an appointment with a psychologist and bring a list of all your mental health symptoms that you've noticed. Be specific and give examples of how each symptom has affected you or caused dysfunction in your life. Then tell them what kind of treatment you are hoping to get and explain why you're certain you have BPD.