Meaning of life! *Possible trigger*

Hey guys,

I know we are all struggling but I'm finding it hard to know why we are going through all this struggle, pain, trauma etc... and why our brains don't let us forget this or move on, when other people seem to cope quite normally?

Winter...

Sometimes i think the same thing. never have found a answer to it. Sometimes i just think WHY?

I've currently been thinking the same thing. For the last five years I've had one failed long term relationship after another. I always focused my entire happiness on having that one person in my life. Now I'm alone again after losing my fiance' and trying to adjust to life as a "normal" person. Trying to fight my BPD. But tonight in particular your post caught my eye because I find myself waking up every day thining "What is the point? I have nothing to look forward to." I'm hoping that while typing this I'll figure out some justification for how crappy life seems. But I have a family, a dog, a college degree, i'm a wonderful guy inside. I do just about anything to make my significant other happy. The problem is I've never found one that was willing to do the same for me. So I imagine the meaning of life is different for each of us. In some peoples case it might be to get rich or have a career. To help people as a doctor or a therapist. I'll admit I do get some relief in helping people but also quite enjoy hurting people.

I've only ever told this to one person but as far as religion goes, I don't really know how to describe my beliefs. I figure there is a God. But in one of my lowest moments in trying to find peace with myself I actually looked up the meaning of Angels and God. Turns out Angels aren't what the public makes them out to be. They're simply beings with a higher perception of things and have the ability to do great good or great evil to others. Never is it mentioned that they are divine and they have free will. So at one point I actually questioned, was there some almighty God that put people like me on this planet as Angels to others that needed them? It's seemed like my entire life I've been a stepping stone for someone else to reach some goal. A few times I thought I'd been rewarded for that, but it usually turns out to just be another stepping stone. I don't really know how I feel about that now. It brought me peace for a few seconds to think that maybe just maybe there is a God that put people like us on this planet to be Angels to those that need the help. And maybe the help isn't always so obvious like a relationship that ends badly and the girl ends up with a guy she met while dating you and this guy becomes her husband. Without your relationship that would've never come. So maybe we are here as guardians for others happiness.

Unfortunately for me that peace has passed me. I've decided I no longer want to be anyone's guardian, though you could say that I'm being one for you now. It's just who we are. Even if we don't feel it, maybe we help people in some way by being who we are. All I know for now is that I wake up every day and feel like I have nothing to live for. I'm not suicidal but I certainly feel like life has no real value. I try to tell myself my own personnel goal is to better myself and find someone who is worth living life for because my true want in life has always been just one person to love me the way I can love them. I might need some work to find that person, but I think that's what keeps me going to be honest. So what would you say is your purpose in life? Because only you can really answer it. What is it in life you want most? And when you answer it, that's what the meaning of life is.

-- Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:24 am --

I've currently been thinking the same thing. For the last five years I've had one failed long term relationship after another. I always focused my entire happiness on having that one person in my life. Now I'm alone again after losing my fiance' and trying to adjust to life as a "normal" person. Trying to fight my BPD. But tonight in particular your post caught my eye because I find myself waking up every day thining "What is the point? I have nothing to look forward to." I'm hoping that while typing this I'll figure out some justification for how crappy life seems. But I have a family, a dog, a college degree, i'm a wonderful guy inside. I do just about anything to make my significant other happy. The problem is I've never found one that was willing to do the same for me. So I imagine the meaning of life is different for each of us. In some peoples case it might be to get rich or have a career. To help people as a doctor or a therapist. I'll admit I do get some relief in helping people but also quite enjoy hurting people.

I've only ever told this to one person but as far as religion goes, I don't really know how to describe my beliefs. I figure there is a God. But in one of my lowest moments in trying to find peace with myself I actually looked up the meaning of Angels and God. Turns out Angels aren't what the public makes them out to be. They're simply beings with a higher perception of things and have the ability to do great good or great evil to others. Never is it mentioned that they are divine and they have free will. So at one point I actually questioned, was there some almighty God that put people like me on this planet as Angels to others that needed them? It's seemed like my entire life I've been a stepping stone for someone else to reach some goal. A few times I thought I'd been rewarded for that, but it usually turns out to just be another stepping stone. I don't really know how I feel about that now. It brought me peace for a few seconds to think that maybe just maybe there is a God that put people like us on this planet to be Angels to those that need the help. And maybe the help isn't always so obvious like a relationship that ends badly and the girl ends up with a guy she met while dating you and this guy becomes her husband. Without your relationship that would've never come. So maybe we are here as guardians for others happiness.

Unfortunately for me that peace has passed me. I've decided I no longer want to be anyone's guardian, though you could say that I'm being one for you now. It's just who we are. Even if we don't feel it, maybe we help people in some way by being who we are. All I know for now is that I wake up every day and feel like I have nothing to live for. I'm not suicidal but I certainly feel like life has no real value. I try to tell myself my own personnel goal is to better myself and find someone who is worth living life for because my true want in life has always been just one person to love me the way I can love them. I might need some work to find that person, but I think that's what keeps me going to be honest. So what would you say is your purpose in life? Because only you can really answer it. What is it in life you want most? And when you answer it, that's what the meaning of life is.

I think on this often.

I think that it is because I/we have some lesson to learn to maybe later serve as some purpose. What we experience in life it cant just all be pointless. There has to be something more to it.

At the very least I want to believe this.

I do agree with your belief in angels Mal. Quite often I've had moments where someone unexpected or a stranger has done something to change my life for the better or teach me a lesson. Unfortunately that's been a really long time now. I too wake up every morning dreading the day ahead and wishing I could just sleep endlessly unaware.. I have been waiting for someone to save me this time, it's not happening! Even if a new love did show up, be it a passion, person or message I'm not sure I would accept it, as so closed off now to joy cant remember what it feels like.

I've always had a deep sense that life is about learning and loving...but that's disappeared now. I'm not sure it has a point. Maybe just a process we go through to that's somehow related with what comes nest, not sure what that either. Here's hoping its better than life right now.