so lonely :( how to make freinds?

Hi, I'm new here but not new to being mental lol, I am 20 years old, dropped out of college at 18 one and a half semesters in because of suicidal thoughts and SI and eating disorder problems, since I have been hospitalized twice, been in and out of therapy but the reason Im writing here is because
I've lost all my friends Ive ever had, some I dont think were my fault I mean alot of high school friends went away to colleges and we lost touch, and friends I met in therapy werent very good for me (we encourged each others negative behaviors) At this point I'm so soo lonely all the time, but its so hard to find friends. I cant be just friends with guys even though I find it easier to talk to them, and I just feel like I dont fit in with most girls my age, they're so succesful in college and I'm a loser who does nothing, I desperately need friends but I'm starting to give up hope of finding any, I think I could be a good friend I listen well, I'm sympathetic, if anything I do too much for friends (in the past) just to make sure they wouldnt leave me. Can anyone give me any advice? thank you

I am happy to reply to your post. I am offering a suggestion I have witnessed to be an infallible way to make new friends and to have lasting, genuine friendships. You mention you are 20 years old. I hope you won't "shoot down" my suggestion without consideration

There are many worship centers (churches) that are contemporary and cater to the younger adults. You can wear jeans, take your coffee with you, sing, hand out and make new friends. They have bands and instruments, etc. There are many activities for young adults and churches are moving away from the "bible thumping", condemnation type preaching. I believe you will find a host of friends and a good support group. I don't know where you are from but one of the most contemporary churches for young adults is call Vineyard. You can check for locations in your area at the link below.

http://www.vineyardusa.org/churches/church_search.aspx

I hope you find some wonderful friends; you sound like a wonderful person yourself. Good luck to you.

that is a very good idea i have never tried! thank you so much, without your reply i probably would not have thought of. I was raised catholic and stopped going to mass and activities due to the very strict nature of the religion but i am very open to other more friendly community type churches and will definitely check into that as I do like to sing and do want to meet nice people, thanks for replying so fast I do appreciate it

You are absolutely welcome. If you have problems finding the kind of church I described, I will be happy to help you find one in your area. I am so happy for you and know you will find friends who are "givers" and not just "takers". I could heed my own advice too! I just moved to a new place and my husband is in Iraq. I am living alone for the first time in my life. I don't have any friends or family here either, so I know how you feel. You let me know how church works for you and I will find a church too and will let you know how it goes for me! Thank you for helping me realize I need to find a friend too. Good luck to you and a great big e-hug.

I don't have any friends either. Just guy friends, all we do it have sex, ugh what a relationship. I guess I was tired of being stabbed in the back by my so called friends that I just gave up. I was constatly worried if they're were talking about me, etc. You don't necessarily have to have friends to survive, even though it is much easier. Try to make friends with people who share similar interests. I guess I shouldn't be giving any advice, since I don't follow it. Personally I feel the same ways you feel.

Well if you wanna talk sometime just pm me...

I am in the same boat as you two. I have been diagonsed with BPD, so alot of my personality comes off as manic, and I try to get people to like me.
Like the other I have been in the friends with benifits stage with alot of guys and it makes me feel bad and like I am worthless. I have never thought really that much on killing my self. there were other options, through and self mutilation. Oh well TTFN. if anyone need to talk I am new.

yeah im also in the same boat

i moved across texas in july to work...and have yet to make friends..

i hate my coworkers (sometimes) and dont do church

its like i have no interests....i do go to concerts sometimes..but i go alone..and leave alone.

my "friend with benefits" just told me he gives up on me after a year and a half..he was all i had.

now i have nothing.