Does being loved help your BPD?

Something I've been wondering about is whether or not another person's love can help with BPD. If our concern is that we will be rejected and abandoned, and we're very sensitive to that, does having someone's love and reassurance, over time, help us get over it?

(Of course, we need to do self-soothing and DBT and all of that stuff. I'm just wondering if actually having someone love you is also helpful with BPD.)

In my case, I was abused as a child and haven't been loved very much in my life. I assume that being loved will help me get over some of these bad experiences, but I'm not sure.

What has your experience been?

I've found that the understanding of some people, mostly people with issues of their own (my mum has an eating disorder and severe depression, maybe ptsd...) really helps me think critically and improve myself. However, my current boyfriend loves me but has some trouble relating. It brings out my symptoms.

Mavet,

Does your current boyfriend have ADHD, by any chance? Mine does, and it definitely makes it hard for us to relate and for me to feel his love.

Being loved has helped me with a lot of issues, but not necessarily the ones you would expect.

More than anything the confidence boost of having that support and validation has broken a years-long pattern of avoidance and helped me to reintegrate into society, get friends, get a job etc.

Emotionally, I am better. I think I am. Obviously it's hard to say from the inside (my partner would probably disagree!)

A relationship comes with problems of its own, which, if you're not mentally healthy as it is, can really take their toll. Insecurity, suspicion etc can run rampant without constant "weeding", no matter how much love there really is deep down. BPD can't see it unless it's in the form of a very long, warm hug, with lashings of kisses and reassurances on top. That's not always the reality. Disapproval, judgement and accusations happen, and it's tough to untangle and cope with.