Is it possible?

Can someone with BPD ever feel happy being by themselves?

What happens to them when looks fade and they can't use their looks to keep someone in a relationship with their sexuality?

Is there any hope?

Good question...

I'd be curious to see if someone has a good answer.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I have gone through phases (about a year or so at different points in my life) where I was single and fine with it. I wasn't out looking for a boyfriend or sulking about not dating. Granted, I had a lot of other issues I had to work on at various stages that didn't allow me to fathom having a boyfriend (anorexia and a heroin addiction), but I have found that I don't necessarily HAVE to have a boyfriend.. as long as there isn't someone I'm focusing on.

When I am IN a relationship, however, it is totally different. I am absolutely co-dependent, have the text book fear of abandonment issues... constantly doubt that my boyfriend loves me, think that he's cheating on me, etc. I was in a horrible relationship for 6 years just because I was afraid to be alone.

I have the classic borderline interpersonal relationship styles when I am with someone. Consequently, all of my relationships are pretty dramatic and intense.

Is therapy something that will help with those thoughts and intense dynamics in a relationships/fear of abandonment/engulfment, or does it relapse as soon as theory is put in to practice at times?

There is always someone out there who has a thing for Grannies.

Just as there is for fatties.

Shouldn't be that hard to find.

True

Funny, I'm quite the opposite - I prefer being single because I'm a lot more stable and happy when I'm not in a relationship.

Your comment that you're relying on your looks/sexuality to 'keep' someone in a relationship kind of got me though. It sounds like you think that is the only thing you have to offer anyone?

I remember I used to feel like that. Thanks to feminism, I've overcome that - well, gone off the other end now probably...

haha nah i'm a male and this was a questions i was curious about for people suffering from BPD/HPD

oh. in that case, feel whacked with my battle axe, sexist swine!

I've found that I'm usually more happy, social and generally functional when I'm single. I do better. However, the loneliness is still there. It probably involves being satisfied with yourself.