BPD songs *may trigger*

I'm sure this has been done before, but lately I've been hearing an abundance of songs that seem to reflect BPD.
I'll share three of them with you guys.

Hurt - Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way


So Unsexy - Alanis Morissette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again, am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me


Eight Easy Steps - Alanis Morissette

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solveable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

[Chorus:]
I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships looks when taught by the best

How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success

[Chorus]

I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

[Chorus]

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything


cheers

On my good days:

Alanis Morissette: Bitch

I hate the world today
You're so good to me I know that I can't change
I tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath; innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried; Must've been relief to see the softer side
I can undertsand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you; I'm a little bit of everything
all roled into one

Chorus
I'm a Bitch I'm a Lover
I'm a child I'm a Mother
I'm a sinner I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
you know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This might mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
I'm going to extremes; Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Musical Break

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changin'
I think it's cool; you do what you do
And don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess of my knees
When you hurt; when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I'm enough; I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way


Warning: Super Trigger Song

On a bad day (I was never on Opiates but obsessing about a person for years who I compared to heroin in terms of addictiveness). Absolutely EPIC song:



Velvet Underground: Heroin

I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know

I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me not, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know

I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know

Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off than dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' busy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds

'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
Damage - Kosheen
Bitch - Meredith Brooks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSDZCK3PKKw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSi_jMOEzww

And this one, for very strange reasons. o.O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuwfgXD8qV8

oh, and a classic from my teens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHfY6VTRUFk

there's no mosher smilie on here!

This one captures the push-pull of BPD relationships pretty well I think *grin*
______________________

(Meatloaf- Paradise by the Dashboard Light)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN_YjM4V4fc

I. Paradise
Boy:
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Girl:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Boy:
Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let ya know
No you're never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonley in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Paradise by the dashboard light
You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely--
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go allt he way
An tonight's the night...
Radio Broadcast:
Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker
going here, two down, nobody on, no score,
bottom of the ninth, there's the wind-up and
there it is, a line shot up the middle, look
at him go. This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on
now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna
try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center,
and here comes the throw, and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, safe--safe at second base, this kid really
makes things happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch--
he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying
for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt--
safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base!
He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost
daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted
down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on!
Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close,
here's the throw, there's the play at the plate,
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
II. Let Me Sleep On It
Girl:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further--!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!!!?
Will you love me forever!!!?
Boy:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Girl:
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?
Boy:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you my answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it!!!
Girl:
Will you love me forever?

Boy:
Let me sleep on it!!!

Girl:
Will you love me forever!!!
III. Praying for the End of Time
Boy:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!
Boy:
It was long ago and it was far away
and it was so much better than it is today
Girl:
It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like
A metal on the edge of a knife

Great thread. Music is one of the best things in my life, it can paints my mind with every color even when I feel it's just black.

One song, slow, sad and reflective that resonates deeply within me -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCf5-lQpuvg

I forget to forget.. nothing is important

And another one, melancholy from a band I love:
Private Hell / Alice In Chains

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPUVZDTpk8

I cry sometimes while hearing it. It's about the tragic lost of their lead singer.

Bother lyrics
Songwriters: Taylor, Corey;

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater

You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won't let go till it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me $#%^ to digest

I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/stone-sour-lyrics/bother-lyrics.html -]
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
Once I hold on I won't let go till it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten with its memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I won't let go till it bleeds

You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on I'll never live down my deceit

Sleep song-bastille

Don't talk to strangers.

Oh, in the strangest dreams, walking by your side It is the hole you impose upon your life When you're out, loneliness, it crawls up in the ground It's what you feel, but can't articulate out loud.

Oh you go to sleep on your own and you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone It's a last resort

All you want is someone onto whom you can cling Your mother warned of strangers and the dangers they may bring Your dreams and memories are blurring into one The scenes which hold the waking world slowly come undone

You'll come undone

Oh, you go to sleep on your own, And you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone, It's a last resort

You go to sleep on your own And you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone, it's a last resort

Oh

Don't talk to strangers, And don't walk into danger. Don't talk to strangers, And don't walk into danger.

Oh you go to sleep on your own, And you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone, It's a last resort

You go to sleep on your own, And you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone, It's a last resort

Don't talk to strangers

Oh you go to sleep on your own, And you wake each day with your thoughts And it scares you being alone, It's a last resort...

Frank Turner - Plain Sailing Weather

Just give me one fine day of plain sailing weather
And I can ###$ up anything, anything.
It was a wonderful life when we were together,
And now I've ###$ up every little goddamn thing.

Amelie lied to me, this was supposed to be easy.
I found the one damn person to help me fall asleep in the night.
But sleeping gets tiring, and dark reminds me of dying,
And as long as this feeble heart is still beating,
You will find me rushing through every room, switching on all the lights.

The problem with falling in love in late bars
Is that there's always more nights, there's always more bars.
The problem with showing your lover your scars
Is that everybody's lover is covered in scars.

Things got fractious, and I felt faithless,
At that moment just before the dawn when everything falls apart.
But baby I didn't mean it, for things to get desperate.
I let slip my guard, let go of the rudder,
Now we're drifting in the current away from one another.

So give me one fine day of plain sailing weather
And I can ###$ up anything, anything.
It was a wonderful life when we were together,
And now I've ###$ up every little goddamn thing,
Every little goddamn thing.

I've been skirting round the rim of doing something
Brave, and not just standing, but jumping in,
Of making circles into squares, of laying down
The bare facts like a burden I can't bear.
And I can almost find the words, but I can see the way you'd
Fold your hands, speak my name like a curse
Upon your pretty lips, the pressured white behind your fingertips.

And when you see me for all that I am
I couldn't make mistakes to make a difference any more.
I'd throw myself down on my knees, at your hands,
And beg you for forgiveness for my ###$ and my faults.
And maybe you'd relent and return my hope for our forever,
Lift up your precious hands, and then bring yours and mine together,
So just give me one fine day of plain sailing weather.