Bipolar and Borderline *Possible Trigger*

*I imagine that this message may cause certain triggers. For those who are comfortable reading it, I'd love some replies. *

I had been seeing my general practitioner after losing my psychiatrist (literally, I couldn't find his office) during a depressive episode in which I had a break with reality. I'm financially dependent on my parents right now, so my mom took it into her hands to find a psychiatrist for me... which brings me to the present.

I saw a psychiatrist for two days, both of which my mom was forced to stay in the room. I wanted to speak with him alone (as to not worry my mom) during the second visit, since my medicine wasn't doing any justice to my depression and I was beginning to feel much worse. He wouldn't let her leave, so I told him that I couldn't discuss anything while she was there, then I teared up a bit despite my best efforts. He then suggested that I was borderline and began showing websites about Christian healing for Borderline Personality Disorder... which was bizarre, and I eventually just left the room out of frustration, assuming that my car would be a more comfortable place to sulk in. I've gone a bit off topic...

I've had bipolar disorder for years and my mom has been putting me under a lot of pressure since that last visit, to receive treatment for borderline personality disorder as well.


I don't mind adding more things to my repertoire of mental illness (however excessive it's become), but I have no fear of abandonment, which seems to be very overwhelming in BPD. I'm actually a loner. I also had a decent childhood, even though I was completely weird.

Are there borderline loners who enjoy being alone...? Anyone?
Thank you for the help! :]

Hi Melancholic!

We welcome you to our boards!

I am going to add a trigger warning to the title of this post, but please do not be offended. We do this for many of the posts in our forum.

I am a little troubled as to how this doctor has arrived at this conclusion of being BPD. Yes, we as BPD'ers can enjoy being alone, but usually it is on OUR terms, LOL. Not because someone else has left us, and we're cool beans with it. Does that make sense?

Have you been in any type of therapy, or have you solely been treated with medication interventions only? This is usually a big difference between BP and BPD.

We're happy to have you here, feel free to post around and get familiar with us.

AMP

Thank you very much for the lovely welcome! :]


I'm not entirely sure what made the psychiatrist come to the conclusion. He was aware of the following:
I used to injure myself when I was a teenager, but I stopped when I was put on medication for ADD (which made me manic for much longer than any bipolar person [or otherwise] should be). With the mania I needed to calm down and knowing that the presence of injury made people indecently uncomfortable, I chose anti-anxiety medication and opiates instead. I stopped that altogether for years after an epiphany that allowed me to see myself objectively (my epiphanies are weird). Now I value clarity over anything. It took about a year for my brain to actually reach a state of normalcy. Shaking from anxiety for a year was not fun...

He brought it up because I was so torn between telling him the truth about the turn that my depression was taking, and hurting my Mother in the process... or just saying nothing and dealing with the consequence of letting it take its course, so I cried in his office like a moron. That's when he brought up borderline. Regardless, I think that he assumed that my tears were theatrics. He was more than a little self important. We didn't have a discussion beforehand or afterward.

Since I've been on medication to treat bipolar, I've been doing much better overall (and I'm going back to my old psychiatrist, since I can find his office now). I went to group therapy for months, and I feel like it was very helpful. I was undiagnosed at the time. I went in because I had glued myself to the couch and I had to quit my job because I couldn't really do anything.


That message was incredibly long... sorry about that. Thank you for reading.