He triggers me

I really really need some help here. I am in a friends with benefits relationship and feel like I am falling for him. What does this have to do with anything right now? I am not sure but here is the thing.

He triggers me in a bad way. I don't know if he means to do this or not but it pulls alot of abusive behavior out of me toward him. I am about ready to end it because of this but I am lonely. I do not know how to prevent these triggers and I am not even sure why he is a trigger. Why would one person be a trigger and another not?

im in a similar relationship but im nonbpd. possibly you feel that he has got to know you too well. is he really honest with you? does he get past your fictional personality and see the real you? I find that when I start to see things and share what I see, my friend will start to put me down and go cold on me quite a bit. you may be scared that he is getting too close to you and you want to get rid of him before you leave yourself open to be rejected by him.

just my opinion

It's really that obvious to nonBPD's? The fears of letting someone get too close and the reasons why? Is your friend diagnosed BPD and have you learned about the disorder or are you just telling how it is with them?

You seem like you are pretty perceptive. I hope your friend allows you to get close enough and that they accept that they can learn, with your help, how their behaviours and reasoning can sometimes be irrational and self sabotaging.

I hope you have the strength and the staying power to make your relationship work in a way that is beneficial to you both and that you take care of yourself and your feelings so you are able to offer support to your friend if you feel they are worth it.

I'm sure, if your friend is BPD, they won't think they are worth it.


Karma.
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