Dating a Health Care pro

Has anyone here dated anyone on the other side of the mental health & recovery industry? Did you find it any more unorthodox than any other relation? Here's why I ask.

Last night, at a birthday party for a friend, I met this girl who's going into the health profession. She's looking to go into either pediatrics or mental health and will be doing a placement starting next month.

Here are my two concerns:

1. Given that she probably knows about BPD, how do I convince her that I'm not a monster? I don't want her splashing holy water on me and chanting "the power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" the instant I say those three magical words - borderline personality disorder. I'll almost have to disclose it to her sooner than later because...
   
2. The Health Sciences organization she's doing her placement with is the same one that I'm scheduled to get my therapy at. There's no guarantee that we'll be in the same hospital, but I know the medical system in that area; the hospitals specialize, so there's a good chance both she and I will end up at the same hospital. For that reason, I'd have to tell her sooner than later. I'd rather she just think I was a monster than that I hid something from her and that I'm a lying monster.

I'm sure it's just me obsessing, and I probably don't have a snowball's chance with her, but I'm like ol' Billy Clinton; I come from a town called Hope. She was pretty, she was nice, and as a bonus, knowing something about the mental health industry, she probably thinks of people with mental illnesses as a little more than patients in straitjackets who try and bite their ear all day.

So what's your take? Have you dated a mental health pro? How did it turn out? If you didn't, would you? Could you? In a box? (Just a little classical reference.) Ali, your input would be especially welcome here, as you're now on both sides of this fence!

Hi there, JB!

To be perfectly honest, as I straddle the fence as both a sufferer and soon to be pratitioner... I would LOVE to find someone who would want to be with me who has some sort of disorder.

Reason being, not only do I pick my own brain, but I would get to pick theirs too! And I am always very interested in how others view themselves inside their illness, and what their thoughts encompass for perceived limitations vs. boundaries, etc. I find it highly stimulating, and the last thing I would do is discriminate against someone who approached me. Now, being in years of therapy myself, I would not be afraid of someone seeking out help - I think thats a much healthier alternative to suffering quietly or alone.

The only thing I would caution you in, is: mental health professionals are required to take an ethics code oath, and this differs between countries, but is primarily the same: some practitioners are not allowed to co-mingle personally with people receiving treatment at the same facility in which they work, as there can be conflict of interest, information passing, etc. and some places are more strict than others.

But, I would say - GO FOR IT! The worst thing that can happen is hearing a "no", right?

Best of luck, JB - go get 'em, Tiger!

<3

AMP

If you really like someone it doesn't matter what there profession is or shouldn't ... we all have doubts and fears and worries but if its worth it it will work out & you deserve to be happy. If the person is on the other side of the mental health - a professional they would at least or should have at least some understanding and empathy to you and your struggles and handle it better.

Ali
I never thought of it as anything of a positive. I was guessing that when a mental health practitioner leaves work, they'd want to leave work behind, not come home to it. And yes, here we have the ethics code as well preventing health pros and patients from "fraternizing", but I don't know if it applies to the facility as a whole (as it'll be in a full hospital with a mental health department) or if it only applies to patients the professional directly works with.

Fortunately, my psych said I probably wouldn't get in until summer or fall, so if things went well (faint hope, I know), we'd be together long before there was the issue of ethics.

Rebba
For most any other profession, I'd agree with you. If it was Jane in accounting, fine. She'd come home from work and only know what she saw of me. This one, on the other hand, would see cases much worse than me. My concern is that she'd be afraid that I'd turn for the worse and preemptively leave me, or equally bad, not want anything to do with me in the first place.

People in that line of work know a little more about us than your average bear, after all. My one hope is that because she's still new at this, maybe she doesn't know much about us yet and I'll have a chance.

jb;
I think that if you be who we all know you can be she will have no choice but to care about you.
best of luck.

I think it depends on how long theyve been in that profession.. for example if theyre pretty green theyre going to be like "ooohhh project!" and want to help you and fix you etc .. if theyve been in mental health or whatever for a while then theyre going to really know what youre about and know that they cant fix you so wont be as positive about it .. especially since pwbpd have a reputation of being the bane of the mental health professionals life..

just realised u already mentioned the new at this thing.. oh well ill hit submit anyway lol

I really don't think I would find a problem in dating a pro.
For one thing (very selfish, I know) at least she would already kinda know some things so I wouldn't have to teach her completely how to deal with me.
Besides, I also am looking at maybe going into the mental healthcare (as a pro) as well. So I would love to find a woman who also works in the same field

And yes....... I am gay